Positive affirmations to help cure depression?

Hey everyone, so I've been struggling a lot recently with depression and anxiety.. I was sexually abused as a child, and recently was triggered.. I also have an NPD mom, which doesn't help much.. In terms of dealing with these thoughts and feelings I've been using Louise Hay, and trying to practice positive affirmations.. I really admire her, but what confuses me is that's psychologists suggest working through the pain and trauma in order to heal. When I do that I find myself focusing on the negative and get depressed. When I focus on Louise hay I feel happier but I don't know if doing this just masks the inner problems? Any advice? Thanks!

Hi you've asked a difficult question and i haven't had the same problem as you so i can't say definitively one way or the other. So this is just an opinion.

I have had therapy for three years which helped me but i didn't have to explore difficult things such as you've gone through. I also have a depressive condition.

The problem i've seen in people who've delved into difficult pasts is that they often get stuck in the new attitude they find - ie they start to see themselves as a victim and find all this resentment and bitterness whereas before they may have just been in more of a quiet pain. I think the main challenge for anyone doing therapy on this stuff is to know that you have to move beyond being a victim and be able to let it all go. In practice that means not having to talk about your past to every tom dick and harry and to explain your life in terms of what happened to you as a child. I see this with quite a lot of people and I feel bad for them because this new position they've found to adopt is healing incompleted. You have to be able to either let the past go or find forgiveness. Because constantly reliving the past means you just hurt yourself over and over again.

I did have something go wrong in my early childhood but i'd already let it go by the time i'd got to therapy. I am really glad that i have got to that position because its one less bunch of pain that i don't have to keep on living with.

So that said, i think it probably is good if you can work through and get yourself out the other side and possibly knowing this in advance might help you get there. Yes i am sorry it is painful to have to talk about with your therapist but i think what happens is that talking about it is eventually liberating. It becomes lighter to hold when you have got it all out in the open. and having had to open about painful stuff just makes you a whole lot stronger psychologically and emotionally. So i think its worth it from that point of view.

Remember the pain that is coming up, it will pass. It really will.

Affirmations. Well they have their place but i don't know how much can be achieved with them if that's all you are doing. I really don't know.

the choice is yours.

Thank you so much for your reply! I really identify with what you said.. Before I had a sort of nagging dull, constant depression and numbness.. Now I have begun to work with a therapist and am beginning to see myself as a victim (the sadness is a lot more powerful now). But I guess to heal I have to recognize that I was a victim, I just will try to not get stuck in this stage..

Yes we do become more acutely aware of our pain. This is also a factor in people who do mindfulness meditation. But while this is so, you are also going to be more functional in the long run, will have less time spent in depression and your episodes will be shorter. But it is a lifelong process. No quick fix. If you find the affirmations, keep using them while are you doing your therapy.