Bad Day

I am really not doing well right now. I've been crying all morning, cannot focus on work or anything else. Thinking about ending it all. I am just so damned tired of living and don't understand why I have to. I'm ready to go. Have been for some time now. But I keep going, despite the desire to end it. Today, I've been planning. I haven't done that in quite a long time.

Hey,

I'm so sorry you are struggling so much atm. Do you have a therapist or someone you could talk to about how bad you are feeling? Or can you go to the hospital?
I know it's hard to see any other way out when you are so low but you won't always feel this way! It can get better! Do whatever you can to hold on until then.

I'm here if you want to talk.

((Big Hugs)) and take care.
Let us know how you are please.

Willow

2L84ME wrote:I am really not doing well right now. I've been crying all morning, cannot focus on work or anything else. Thinking about ending it all. I am just so damned tired of living and don't understand why I have to. I'm ready to go. Have been for some time now. But I keep going, despite the desire to end it. Today, I've been planning. I haven't done that in quite a long time.

You're not alone. I have not had a good day either. I have not had thoughts of ending it but definitely hurting myself. Is there someone you can call, a friend, can you get your therapist on the phone? It's hard to live the life we do, you're not not alone there either and I'm exhausted just being exhausted. Even posting on this forum is a good way to distract yourself is nothing else. Just know you're not the only one with a crap day. Stay safe

Thanks all. Writing here helped a lot. I'm not seeing a therapist or psychiatrist right now, because I don't have insurance. Make too much for financial help but not enough to cover costs.

Anyway, I pushed through it, went out with some friends, got out of the house. I'm still feeling very low and crying a lot but no suicidal ideation today. Trying to stay busy. Hanging on by my fingernails.

Hey,

I'm so glad you are feeling a little better! That's great.
Hanging on is all we can do sometimes until it passes. We are always here anytime you need to talk.

((Big Hugs)) and take care
willow

Thanks. I am actually feeling upbeat today. Someone I care about moved away and now he is back. We are going to hang out tonight. He always cheers me up. Just knowing he's back here helps.

Hugs!