The Book :depression is a choice

JMO,

The most important thing anyone can do for the depressed person is to help him or her get an appropriate diagnosis and treatment. This may involve encouraging the individual to stay with treatment until symptoms begin to abate (several weeks), or to seek different treatment if no improvement occurs. On occasion, it may require making an appointment and accompanying the depressed person to the doctor. It may also mean monitoring whether the depressed person is taking medication. The depressed person should be encouraged to obey the doctor's orders about the use of alcoholic products while on medication. The second most important thing is to offer emotional support. This involves understanding, patience, affection, and encouragement. Engage the depressed person in conversation and listen carefully. Do not disparage feelings expressed, but point out realities and offer hope. Do not ignore remarks about suicide. Report them to the depressed person's therapist. Invite the depressed person for walks, outings, to the movies, and other activities. Be gently insistent if your invitation is refused. Encourage participation in some activities that once gave pleasure, such as hobbies, sports, religious or cultural activities, but do not push the depressed person to undertake too much too soon. The depressed person needs diversion and company, but too many demands can increase feelings of failure.

Do not accuse the depressed person of faking illness or of laziness, or expect him or her "to snap out of it." Eventually, with treatment, most people do get better. Keep that in mind, and keep reassuring the depressed person that, with time and help, he or she will feel better.

I'm not trying to be difficult. If you think this is going where it shouldn't then I understand if you move it or lock it. Its just so good to talk, argue, disagree with, someone that isn't afraid to share thoughts back and forth. This depression is rough when you have to be nice and careful all the time to not scare your family, any more than they already worried about you.

I do understand.

I have many issues such as bipolar, borderline personality etc, but I have to follow the forum rules too.

I want to get on here and scream and shout and act a fool sometimes, but control is the key issue.


It wouldn't be a bad idea for you to start your own thread, giving the title some thought to bring attention to it, rather, than.......help me. so on.

Maybe something like depression talk.
It' s not you that I am referring to here, we have many antipsych that spread their opinions thru a psych forum, and we voted to open the antipsych forum to allow those opposing psychiatric treatment to keep it all in that forum for just the reasons I spoke of, to avoid debates and arguements.

I call it the antipsych pen. If those post go outside that forum, a warning is posted. That is what I have done.

If you want antipsych viewpoints you can post there , but be ready for a war of the minds.

To avoid anymore discussion on my decision please pm me if you are registered and let me know if you run across any problems. quotes would be good.

If you are looking for a place to replace your anger, I realize you have those issues, just try to keep it calm, I appreciate your communication, but this was never directed at you, it was directed at those opposing medical attention=antipsych


just a reminder

Registration is Not Necessary. But it will make it easier to keep track of your posts.
Watch Your Language Please. We understand the use of certain words, but please do not go overboard or we will need to start censoring those words.
Be Sensible. Don't post more personal information that you are willing to share with a stranger.
Be Respectful of Others. Please do not post hateful or insulting comments. No personal attacks will be allowed.
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Remember these boards are for everyone… those with mental illness, their friends, family, caregivers, students and mental health professionals.

Moderators and Administrators have the authority to warn or ban users who violate these rules.

I am aware this is a touchy subject and that people may get angry, but I won't allow that anger to be taken out on the Moderators or other members. If we see personal attacks, name calling, or other childish behavior then we will remove the post. If we see such behavior again, then we will ban the poster.

I believe that everything in life can be discussed by people in a mature and sensible way, please help prove me right.

Bowing out and please continue ............

It's stuff like this that gets me mad. I've suffered depression for the past year and considering people's lives, situations, and problems, it's not a damn choice. If someone hit you, do you CHOOSE to cry?

Choosing to not be angry, or choosing to not be sad or depressed IS NOT the answer to get over it. And you know why? Because that's almost the same thing as ignoring it, therefore it will mostly come back over and over again, it has to be dealt with.

Though it is important to be in control, its hard when your emotions are like spilt milk- it's all over the place. And I know this for a fact, because when I seek help, because I know I have this problem, all I get is, "You choose to be depressed," and thats the end of it- thats the help I get. Turns out, it just makes things worse, and gets me more frustrated and mad, because I seek help, and I get nothing, crap.

yeah, I don't know how this author hits his on and off switch, but I wasn't built with one either.

I'm bipolar and when I get down, I can somewhat come up by being angry, but what a choice, it does something to the chemicals in my head, but then I am just as bad, combative.

So the choice is of two evils for me.

Again just a reminder this thread is about a book. No one says or should say , it is a choice, IMO. If so there would be NO depression. Wouldn't that be wonderful for the world.

When I first started reading this thread I went wild. I was angry, disbeliving that any one could be so dumb as to say choice. As I kept answering back to "Guest" about this book, I relaized that the reason my button was pushed was, I hear alot of stuff about thinking positive etc. Finally I had a place to defend myself! I didn't choose this and I don't want it. I'm so tired of people saying "Change the way you think". We don't choose this or choose to stay depressed, anxious, paranoid, or whatever. For me being angry at the book let me voice, what I wish I was strong enough to say to friends and family.

Completely understood.

Thanks its nice to be understood. As you know I didn't understand when I first started writing in this thread. As I continued it started making sense. Now if I could just say these things to my family.
I have no wish to read the book, but the title sure helped me!!

I understand how you feel. You think it is impossible to feel any other way. For example if you would be on funeral it would not be possible to feel good for any one, and if they did it would be wrong and inappropriate. You think that people don’t know what it is like, and just want to blame you. You are angry because you think they blame the victim.


Why do you think you didn’t tell your family yet? What do you think will happen? (Do you think that you will argue and scream then hate each other more?) What do you want to happen? (Do you want them to stop?) You can do it in a way that will give you what you want.

If you do want to fight and win them be prepared; you have to know how to answer the following:

1. How is it possible that many people in your circumstances could do it? The difference is that you do/think what you do and they do/think what they do/think?

2. You think things that matters and worth something come easy/naturally (as your depression) and you don’t have to push your self to do anything? Do you think people who achieve things just accept everything as it comes?

3. Do you think we always choose what is good for us and it is easy, as choosing to exercise, eat healthy, don’t cheat, keep your promises, don't procrastinate, be positive, etc.?

4. In time when you were afraid (let say speech) but you ignored your negative feeling and tried to focus on positive. Did afterwards “unresolved” negative feelings came back?(actualy you solved the problem) If it worked that way, then you would always feel your unresolved positive feelings.

5. What do you think positive thinking is? All it is focusing on solutions instead of problems. And that can make big difference people who focus on problem feel bad about them, quit and get nothing; people who focus on solutions find solutions and overcome problems and achieve their goals.

6. Obviously no one can choose everything in their life, but point is you choose what is best for you as soon as you can. Take control when you can. And that makes a huge difference: if you feel depressed fer a five minutes (and then take control) or a day, week, forever (don’t do anything)

7. If you have no responsibility/ no choice that means that you can’t change it. If you say that you can do something about your problem you are saying that you can choose better.

8. People who want something do something to get it, and that proves that they really want it, and that it’s not just a wishful thinking.


Understand that they think that they are right as much as you think that you are right. They try to help you the only way that they think is right. They believe its right because some could turn their life around by thinking it is choice and chosing better. They don’t want to blame you; they just want to give you opportunity to do better in the future.

I understand if you don’t want to get into argument and hear what they have to say. You can stop them by saying: I understand that you think this way, but I disagree, and I am entitled to my thoughts (don’t say it doesn’t work; because they will push you into saying did you tried? And if something didn’t work, they will show you a way to fix it).

You can stop them, but you can never make them understand or feel sorry for you, because you rejected their help, and they left you alone to do as you please.

OK your right on some of your points. I guess I wasn't clear about my family. They know about my depression/anxiety problems, but its a little like the elephant in the room that no one wants to talk about.
As for choice, the way I see it is, I didn't choose to have depression/anxiety. I do choose to learn how to deal with it and learn to be happy and not afraid. I choose treatment to get better, and the meds if necessary.
I don't think anyone would choose to have this but they do have to choose to get better. A part of my frustration is that I can't describe to my loved ones the emptiness, fear, and self hatred that is a large part of what I'm trying to fix in me. I can't go there because they can't see-feel-touch what is wrong so its hard for them not to tell me that positive thinking will make me better.
I know it will but first I have 60 yrs of negative thinking, to learn to reframe into positive.