Going downhill quick

Over the summer my dad got sick, he suddenly passed away unexpectedly..I am in shock still and traumatized by how he died so unexpectedly..I have a sinking feeling in my stomach and am dreading the holidays without him to greet me...any thoughts on how to survive this? I am afraid I will end up flat on my back in a hospital...I don't know if I should try to ignore the holidays somehow or if I should acknowledge them? Thanksgiving without my dad...it doesn't feel like I can handle that...I am glad he is not suffering and is at peace but I'm afraid I'm in for a heck of a battle to now somehow have the will and desire to even get out of bed anymore...any thoughts or support appreciated..I was very close to him, he was always there for me, God I miss hearing his voice on the phone...

Hello, I'm Asiza.

I'm not quite sure exactly how you feel, but i can well imagine. I have also experienced loss, though mostly animals, which i seem to prefer to humans. I know how it feels like all hope is lost, like your being eaten up inside. All you want is to reverse time and prevent it. But just think for a minute; is that how they would want you to feel? I know that is a little harsh, but just think. Yes, your father would want to be remembered, he would want you to miss him. But he certainly wouldn't want you to be depressed. He wouldn't want you to end up in hospital. He would want you to live your life the best you can. Enjoy, be successful no matter what. Do that for him.

As for the holidays, try to find something to take up your time, even if it is mind numbing. Try drawing or writing. Explore the outside world, be adventurous! You could try testing yourself, try to multitask as many things as possible. Hang out with friends, have a laugh.

I know that with deaths it can sometimes be tempting to try to forget. But i am a strong believer in remembering, honoring. Enjoy your life, that is what your father would want.

I am deeply sorry you are reacting to this loss as such. My heart goes out to you. I don't know your religious beliefs , but take solace in whatever you keep sacred , for death holds a certain beauty for us all. I would suggest celebrating. If you father was still alive I believe he would most certainly want you to be strong and take comfort in enjoying the harvest season with your family. Being around them may alleviate your symptoms some and give you a good sense of balance.

Much love , hope you get to feeling better.

Hello, thanks both of you for the kind thoughts and support...for some reason I have gotten a lot more depressed..I have a pre existing psychiatric illness and I am starting to relapse since he passed on..I think someday I will see if I can buy a star for him, there is a place you can have a star named after a loved one...another idea is I' would love to plant a tree in his memory...my religious beliefs are that his spirit lives on, I felt his presence very strongly in the first two weeks after he passed but not as much anymore....I worry that he will move on and forget about me. I'm so glad that a few days before he died I told him I loved him, he said I love you too....

sorry to hear delamo. not sure how much knowing this will help and i don't have experience with losing someone so close, but it's natural to feel grief at the passing of someone close, especially a family member but it gets easier in time i'd imagine when you let the feelings run it's course. did you have traditions you guys would do at the holidays, maybe it would help if you did all the same things and dedicate it to him and the celebration of his life? also, maybe consider grief counseling, sometimes it can help to just talk to someone anonymously.

also i came across a few very good, short articles about the loss of someone close, and how the author dealt with it. i highly recommend it reading it. wish you the best

EMBRACING THE MOMENT WHEN IT SUCKS: DEALING WITH DEATH
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/embracing-th ... ith-death/

FINDING MEANING IN TRAGEDY AND MOVING ON STRONGER
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/finding-mean ... -stronger/

I think your father would not want you in pain. An idea for the holidays would be to celebrate him, and his life, and talk about some of the happy times. If you can imagine 2 scenerios: 1 were your family is just having the holidays and acting like nothing happend, and never speaking about the loss or 2. Breaking out some old photo albums, and laughing about some of the great memories everyone has. I think your dad would like the latter scenerio! Also, a councellor is an excellent idea. It gives you a chance to really make sense of how you feel, and move forward with the greiving process. REMEMBER: this is 100% NORMAL how you feel. Accept it, and be glad you are feeling normal emotions. good luck.