Life feels retarded for me right now

i am getting that strange feeling like a lot of us do that life is weird and death is the norm. i think that this might be the way that it really is. i think that i am going to have to do some more research in the psychology of dying because i think that there might be an afterlife. as long as you believe that there will be an afterllife. life feels realy weird. i see all these people walking around doing stuff and percieve everything that everybody does as pointless and stupid.

i mean really i guess some people are all happy and stuff but i could just live in a home for the mentally ill for the rest of my life and see what i do about that. at least the beds are nice and i can go to get groceries and it is not like being locked up in a psychiatriac hospital.

it wouldn't be so bad, but there's nothing like life on the outside:)