Terribly worried about what im getting myself into...

I've had issues since i was in my middle teens with self-discipline and motivation. I spend all my time thinking about the things i want to do and can never discipline myself to stay on task or get whats always on my mind achieved, always telling myself it can be done later or finding something to divert around it(basically chronic procrastination). Which creates all sorts of mood problems as you never get done what you would like and genrally feel a failure and become fed up with it all.

It seemed like I was always seeking stimulation and trying to escape the feeling which doing the task actually gave me (those feelings where lethargy and almost a feeling of pain, something not allowing me to do it and dragging me away).

I was diagnosed with ADHD (inattentive) and tried concerta and ritalin, both which made hardly any difference and as the dose increased gave me very uncomfortable episodes of anxiety every time i took them.

I then started to believe my issue was dysthymia as everything i read matched what i was currently experiencing. My doctor agreed and has tried me on setraline (SSRI) for 4 month up to a dose of 200mg which seemed to do nothing what so ever, if anything just made me feel more lethargic, got less done and made getting out of bed harder.

So here i am today after stopping sertraline 3 weeks ago and having just got back from see'ing my doctor who has now prescribed me an anti-psychotic medication called seroquel (Quetiapine). I'm now feeling extremely anxious after reading about this medication and wonder if I've got myself in too deep.

I really dont want to damage my long term health be it mentally or physically. The problems i have are a huge issue for me and i cant envisage the rest of my life with them however the prospect of a anti-psychotic medication and the potential side effects seem extremely serious.

Just to add I've seen 3 phycologists, all whom have said they cant offer me any treatment as they dont believe im depressed or have any mental health issues, however they do acknowledge i have some issues with anxiety.

I have also been diagnosed with dyslexia through my university.

So basically guys, what do i do, my anxiety levels are through the roof right now at the prospect of taking a drug which is so serious. Will trying this drug for a month until my next appointment pose as a potential risk to my health?

I'd be so much happier if i could just overcome this issue with self discipline and motivation, i know that. But after 8+ years nothing i try seems to work

P.S : Im 24 years old and studying in my second year at university(really struggling at the moment). If you believe this post would be best placed elsewhere please advice.

Thanks

Michael, dude, it's great that you spend time looking towards the things you want to accomplish.

"It seemed like I was always seeking stimulation and trying to escape the feeling which doing the task actually gave me (those feelings where lethargy and almost a feeling of pain, something not allowing me to do it and dragging me away)."

I EXACTLY know what you're talking about. It's as if the price you have to pay isn't worth it. All the struggle to complete the task... for what? For a pat on the shoulder!? LOL! For an 85% on a paper, out of how many papers? 20? 30?

Here's the real deal Michael. Life isn't handed to you. Life is an equilibrium of suffering and reward. You have to suffer a LITTLE bit, usually, if you want anything. You have to hand over 20 bucks to buy your girlfriend some ridiculously expensive drink at Starbucks... so you can get a reward later. You see what I'm saying?

I say ###$ medication. I think you have got this on your own. You seem to have a clear, sturdy head on your shoulders. You're asking questions. Everything's good.

Here's what could happen, you could continue to push yourself, try as hard as you can... and still end up failing, depressed as $#%^, and in a WHOLE different dilemma.... Or.... you'll end up pushing yourself, try as hard as you can, and learn that the reward is pretty damn sweet.

How much is it worth to you? What are you willing to risk.
Our ancestors did not have the luxury we have today. Our generation is HANDED $#%^, we have a mentality about us that demands things stay a certain way... when in reality, life is always changing, there is no stability. We've lost our appreciation for stability because it's something that we've become so accustomed to having.

Your ancestors worked their fingers to the bone for you. Do them a service and dedicate yourself to those big dreams you have. Start small. Don't get worried. Like Nike bro, just do it.

Hi Michael!

It certainly sounds like you are taking all the right steps by talking to medical professionals. I can understand why you are scared, who wouldn't be? No one wants to be on medication.

I would certainly give the new medication a try to see how it works for you. I don't think taking medication for a month is going to cause long term health problems providing you follow the instructions properly.

Hopefully it works out