I'm new here. Depression and interviews.

Hi everyone. I'm new here, as you can tell. I really need to post this somewhere where there might be somebody who can understand and relate to me.

Im 21 years old and I've been suffering from major depression for the last four years. I have a huge problem where I can't seem to keep jobs because of my depression, I can't relate to people. I know I'm different from them because they seem happy and they have a reason to live.

I've always had a hard time making friends, only because I never felt the need to have friends. But during secondary I knew it was better if you do have friends. So I did have a group of friends at school. But i always found it a chore to go out with them and talk to them about anything because just never felt interested. So I don't really have any friends now. The only people in my life are, my family. And even with them, I'm not all that close to them . Though my mum does try, bless her.

After school finished I went on to uni to for business and finance with accounting. And I dropped out because I was extremely depressed. I've had days where I couldn't physically get out of bed. I applied to a million jobs, but honestly I feel so worthless and hopeless that I don't care anymore. I've had about 5 jobs, a few of them voluntary and I sucked.

My last interview which was this morning. Went really bad. The interviewer totally made me feel like $#%^, he kept saying 'your 21 and you have nothing to prove, you haven't been able to keep a job longer then 3 months.. Etc'. I really do agree with him but it just makes me feel more miserable. I made such an effort to go to this interview just to be put down.

Along with my depression I've had a huge problem with managing my anger. I just flip at the littlest of things and it's not nice on the person whose on the receiving end. I'm just so emotional unstable, I hate it. Sometimes I wake up happy and then suddenly I'm down again.

I feel so useless writing this, I sound like a lazy asshole who should get off her ass and fix up. But I've tried and I can't. I'm visiting my gp this week and hopefully get some medication but what if that doesn't work? Then what?

Hi, Isaysoso! How about asking your gp where to find a counselor or therapist for depression? You could google for exercises that might help with your self esteem and/or for places that offer therapy for a low price or for free.
The guy who interviewed you is an idiot and a jerk, don't worry about him. He's the one who shouldn't have a job there. You're very young and you want things to get better, that's what really matters.
Hmmm, in what kind of environment would you feel most comfortable working? As in coffee shop, bookstore etc. Maybe you could look into finding a place where you wouldn't have many co-workers.