falling into a hole again and suicide seems so close

I have been on zoloft for 4 months and recently started to feel depressed again , so I stopped taking my zoloft cold turky. Im scared and Im not sure how bad I will feel when all of the zoloft comes out of my system. I still felt down sometimes while on the meds , but overall it help me be more social and helped my attitude. I dont know why I stopped taking it , but I believe its because I want to feel sick again. I went to a therapist a few times and they were no hlep to me. Please help me!!!!!!!!!!

Is Zoloft the only medication you have tried? If it is maybe you could try a different medicine till you found the one that worked best for you. I dont know much about anti depressants but i know its not a good idea to stop taking them cold turkey. I would talk to a doctor as soon as possible. Good luck.

I've been on zoloft too. It helped for a little while, then stopped.

You said you want to be sick again. I wonder about this and asked. The reply I got, was that you brain has a "memory" of how it feels.
The more you feel unhappy, the longer it goes on, the stronger that memory gets-reinforces the unhappiness. It's probably not that uncommon to want to be sick, as it is familiar ground, and most of us choose familiar things, even if there is something better.

yes zoloft is the only meds I have tried / i wanted something to help me get to sleep at night , but I was told by doctor that I dont need anything / so while my doctor is sleeping good at night I will be wide awake because I dont need anything to help me sleep / ah life is a joke / i feel so deprived of life and so left out / i wish i had the courage to do something about it /

actually, dear, you are doing something about it.
You are talking to us here. That might not sound like much, but it is a little step. I wish I had something like this when I was sick, but the internet wasn't around back then. I was so alone and isolated, and had no idea what was happening to me, why I felt so bad...

I started going to see a psychiatrist, which made me feel like an inch tall. For me, it was a gradual process of acceptance, learning a little bit, and just enduring, and also mourning the fact that it took a lot of my life away, and I'd never really get "cured".

You shouldn't give up though. We definitely take the path less travelled, and while it looks impossibly difficult, it can be done.