Perhaps i should just end it?

Heya


I can relate to a lot of what you have said my friend. I feel that I am not suited to live in this world either but in the end I just realise that I haven't yet found my 'niche' in society. Maybe you haven't either...What do you think about that?


The phobias that you speak of could very well be a confidence / self-esteem issue. I used to be scared of everything too but through constant exposure with these I overcame the fear.


Oh, why did you choose the web-design course? Is this an area of interest for you?

I can relate a lot to your story. I didnt have the best home life growing up either(i dont think anyone does) and i also have many fears or phobias. I think my fears have a lot to do about me not having self confidence, like you said. I also see myself as an "outsider" because i have a hard time relating to people and dont have any friends.

I dont have any great advice except to try to take baby steps in improving your life. Have you tried talk to a counselor or a therapist about your problems? Maybe you could try anti depressants? You said you dont get along well with your family. Are you still living at home? If you are maybe you could set a goal to move out of their home and get away from that negative environment.

Also find out what makes you happy and what you enjoy learning about and pursue it. You mentioned computers maybe you could go to school for them if you are not already.

As far as the suicide thing goes just keep in mind how bad that would hurt your family. You even said that "your world would end if you lost them." I am positive they would feel the same if you decided to leave. Just keep in mind how young you are, you have your whole life ahead of you and things will get better.

hi if computers and the internet make you happy im launching a website in a few weeks that i will need some help running.
pm me if your intereted.

I can relate to all the posts about abuse, not belonging to this world, and wanting to kill myself. However, those feelings are in my past. I felt bad for a number of years, but I've had a lot of good years.

When I was about your age I planned to kill myself, but chickened out at the end. I'm glad I did not go through with my plan because eventually my life got a lot better. I tried alcohol and other drugs to dull my bad feelings, but they almost killed me and left me with many extra problems, including a 100 pound beer belly--that's almost the weight of another person. My mother beat me a lot. My teachers beat me a lot--usually in front of everyone. I did not feel good at anything. School was very hard. I was not good at sports as a teen and that was the biggest thing when and where I grew up.

As has been pointed out. I had to find my niche in life. I had to learn in a different way then most people since I have ADD and other learning problems. I had to get out of my house with my parents. I had to stop blaming everyone, and just control what I could, one day at a time. I found great help in self-help groups.

My life has been good, real good for years. A few days ago I was notified that I would be listed in a Who's Who. This will be my second listing--the other was in a totally different field. I'm not the fattest person in the world. I lost my excess weight and have kept it off for many years. Here in America being fat is not looked upon as being very cool.

Good luck to you. I hope you do not take your life. You never know what your purpose is supposed to be if you are not here. I was a total failure as a young person, but I've been able to do a lot of neat things and help a lot of people. I would have never believed that my life would ever get as good as it is.
Good Luck,
Jim S

Mothers (and parents) are very annoying indeed. When she annoys you do you actually tell her that she's upsetting you?

I tell her shes annoying me, and then to shut up, but she just pulls her grumpy faces, makes a loud 'TSSSS' and walks out...

Hell i would love to tell my parents about me being and depressed and stuff, but they lost that kind of relationship with me the first time they hit me.

My anger prob makes me moan at her tho, but thats her fault, she gave me it.

Look man, I really feel for you here because from posts that you have submitted you make it sound like both your parents are as bad as each other. There has to be a 'positive' person in your life...Who might that be?

no one, i have no friends, no girlfriend, i only have online friends from gaming, which arent really friends i guess, but my parents like to keep telling me how everyone online is a nobody and they arent real friends, omg, how thick are they? Everyone online or off is a someone...

They just don't understand the Internet, that's all. They grew up without mobile phones and without the Internet. You cannot blame them for their ignorance of it. But anyway, it's no reason for them to not be open to the idea of it.


Do you ever hold a conversation with your mum or dad? Perhaps you could try explaining some of your views to your mother. I'm just trying to air some suggestions for you mate.

Ive tried, not in a like a 1 on 1 convo though, i cant, i dont feel comfortable talking to them like that anymore, and they will just dismiss it, shrug it off. Like my mums smoking habit, ive tried talking to her about that, and then she just changes the convo to my life, it doesnt help that i have asthma...