"If only we had known how depressed she really was..."

I am going through so much now that I often contemplate suicide. I won't do it because I don't want to hurt the ones I love.

There are other people, however that don't even know or believe that I am depressed. They think that I can just "snap" out of it. These are the same people that if I did commit suicide would tell other people, "If only we had known how depressed she really was, we would have done anything to help." Yet if I ask for help now I am just ridiculed. If I say that I am suicidal, then I am just being manipulative. It hurts to have people like this for family.

There are many financial problems, relationship issues, my history of depression, parents that were mentally ill and an alcoholic.

Does anybody else find things more difficult to deal with after dark? Even the worst problems don't seem as bad during daylight hours. I hate when the days start getting shorter.

I am so angry and depressed and feel so worthless. Thanks for listening.

I have a lot of the same feelings as you. There are many times that i just dont want to go on living and the only reason i do, is because of my family. I just couldnt do that to them. I have seen first hand how hard a suicide is on a family.

Another thing i found interesting was about how you said that u find things more difficult to deal with after dark. For me my depression always seems worse at night. I spend a lot of time alone but at night i really bothers me and i dont know why. Night time at least for me is a very lonely and depressing time.

I think that, unfortunately, quite common for others not to realize the depth of depression that people can feel.

I think that everyone from to time to time can feel "depressed". These are the ones whom I would think are the first ones to say, "snap out of it" -- You've got to "pick yourself up by your boot straps" -- I remember when I was depressed and I just blah, blah, blah.

I think it's hard for someone to understand the depth of exhaustion, agitation, sadness,irritability, difficulty making decisions, etc. that people can have when they are extremely depressed.

As for people not realizing you're depressed. I think that many people put on a front pretending to be much better than they really are. Our society demands it. Mike Wallace of the TV show, 60 Minutes said when interviewed that although he could do an interview he was contemplating suicide. No one, except a couple of people knew the state of despair he was living in.

I think the important thing is to seek help from a professional who understands the depths of depression. I also think that sites like this are helpful b/c there are lots of people here who have experienced similar things that you have described. This has helped me and hopefully you.

i too experience thoughts and feelings like you zookeeper and yes, i think things do seem worse in the dark - not sure why. maybe because there is less to occupy your mind so you think more? it's why i tend to stay up late on here. i agree with what mermaidmo said and id take the advice to talk to a professional. take care - S

I know how ya'll feel, although I feel better when's it dark I don't know why, for some odd reason it gives me comfort. My husbands favorite saying is "mind over matter" he thinks I can will myself out of this.

I think it should be "mind over mood".

I think it should be "mind over mood".

i don;t think it works that way at all. doesnt for me anyway. the more i will myself out of it the worse i become because i cant will myself out of it and by trying and failing i feel like ive failed which adds to it...if you understand what im trying to say?

I actuallty know what you are saying splodge. I have tried the mind over mood, but the more i focus on the mood the worse it gets. So I try to focus on other things to get me mind away from what is bothering me.



Angel