I WANNA DIE CAN ANYONE HELP

Anonymous wrote:Hey everyone thanks for trying to help but I am going to kill my self iblost thanks for afreeing with me man. I am just so sick of the pain and hell I have. I have died on the inside now its time to die on the outside I am going to take my face and bash itinto a ######6 mirrior then everyone will be hapy and wont have an eccuce to call me #######1,home,aids patient cause I am neither one of those 3 I am so sick of the hating god did not want that when he made us. I am also sick of the torment, the hearrassmen, the death threats, and everything else.

Sweetie, I don't know why they're treating you this way. But please, PLEASE don't kill yourself. I don't think you're a #######1 or anything like that. And I really just wish you'd get help!! PLEASE!!!! You have a lot of people here that want to help you. I know how it feels to just want to die, to just want your life to be over so you don't have to feel the pain. I know how it feels to be so desperate for an escape, but please please don't kill yourself!! PLEASE!! Please check yourself into a hospital or something, or call someone to stay with you for a while. Things can and will get better if you let them. If you could just talk to a counselor or something. Please. Don't throw your life away. Your life is precious!! Don't throw it away. I'm praying for you, okay. Please don't give up. I'm here to support you and to be a friend to you. So please, give me the opportunity to do that!!

*gentle hugs*

Please don't give up!!

~element

Jack,

You are not able to think in any other way than from a depressed perspective. In other words, the pain and depression has severely coloured your ability to see your way through clearly.

I bet if you look at how you are thinking about everything right now, it's all negative, futile and hopeless. That's depressed thinking alright.

You've got to sit tight. You've got to get help. I know this may sound trite, but your feelings and how you see things are seen negatively b/c you are depressed. Depression can be treated.

Things can get better. See if you can't direct your energy (whatever you have) to get help. Call 911, call an intervention line, or keep posting here. I sense you're angry, frustrated, hurt, humiliated, etc. You've got to hang in there. Very few of us get through life without some miserable things/disappointments that we have to deal with.

Things will get better. Get some help for yourself. You are worth it, regardless of how you see things right now.
Will be watching for your posts.

shrinkrapper

Hello everyone I wanna say thanks to shrinkwrapper and element for taking there time to reply to this post. I really wanna die I am not eating I only weigh 113 pounds and I keep having depressed dreams god I just dont wanna live the pain is to much to bare and the hate and death is growing inside of me soon my time will come. I have taken meds and seen a psych and nothing helped me I have been blammed for everything.
I just want help or a friend * crying * I want to die and yet a part of me wants to live a very little pat of me but a very big part wants to die I have lost to many friends thanks to my probelms I am so sick of myslef will anyone here plaes end my life?

i dont have depressed dreams, but im there with ya on wanting to be released. hey man, if you want do so.

bump all these people that say "get help get help". funny thing is, i bet you've already tried to get help, and that $#%^ aint working. i believe that people who truly know who you can help (in recovering. i believe pills can lead a way to recovery but it only works when people you trust can help). maybe you havent found a person you can TRULY trust. im tryin to do so myself.

If you really think you're brave enough to take your own life then $#%^, more power to you. i aint gonna be one of those people who personally dont know you and act like i care cuz really, i dont. how can i help if i can't even solve my own issues?

i just agree with you on your perspective and telling it to you straight up of what i think. if only i knew u in real life, then maybe it could be solved of our godamn depression issues. until then, all we have is this forum.

Anonymous wrote:Hello everyone I wanna say thanks to shrinkwrapper and element for taking there time to reply to this post. I really wanna die I am not eating I only weigh 113 pounds and I keep having depressed dreams god I just dont wanna live the pain is to much to bare and the hate and death is growing inside of me soon my time will come. I have taken meds and seen a psych and nothing helped me I have been blammed for everything.
I just want help or a friend * crying * I want to die and yet a part of me wants to live a very little pat of me but a very big part wants to die I have lost to many friends thanks to my probelms I am so sick of myslef will anyone here plaes end my life?

please just try to talk to someone about it again. You don't have to keep going back, but just something to "hold you over" until you're okay. Because I know that it will get better if you'll just let someone help you. And if you need a friend, I'll be your friend!! I'd love to be your friend. You can talk to me about whatever is bothering you, and if you get a registered name then you can private message me. Just please don't die!!! I know you're feeling helpless and hopeless right now, and I've felt that before!! But it does get better. You have to believe that, it gets better!! And it gets worse, but please just hang in there until it's better. If you could find a doctor/counselor that you felt comfortable with, then maybe that would help some. Please, though, just try to get some help. It doesn't have to be from a doctor, but just from someone that could help. Keep posting here. We can try to help you.

You have no reason to be sick of yourself. Some people will treat you like dirt, but it isn't your fault!! It says nothing at all about you. It just says that they are jerks!! So please don't be down on yourself, and please PLEASE don't kill yourself.

Just wondering, how old are you?

Yes, we all want to be released from pain. You are in a major clinical depression. Your thinking is totally out of wack. The emotions you are feeling, plus you probably aren't sleeping very well, together with the lack of food are all symptoms that you've slid right into the bottom of the well. I stopped eating. Lost 40 lbs. Went to quite a skinny mini. Didn't have enough energy or interest to comb my hair. Watching TV required energy I didn't have. I have had trouble with depression all my life. But, this last bout has given me a whole new respect for depression. In the depression that you are suffering from, there is a real physical component to it. You are ill. You cannot trust your thinking at this point. Suicidal thoughts are part of the problem. Everything seems futile and too much to cope with. Suicide is not your answer. Your assumptions about your situation are not correct. It's become part of your belief system. But your thinking is faulty.

No, often the drugs don't work. I have had to try several. Can't say I've had wonderful results, but things have gotten better. You
have to get help. You need medical attention. If you broke your arm, you'd be in pain too. If the first dr. you saw didn't help you, you'd keeping looking.

Watching for your reply.

shrinkrapper

Everyone I have taking pills and talked to ppl how do you think I lost my friends I have seen a psych and he could not even help so I am so at a lost nothing helps and noone helps me now can everyone see why i wanna die I am a hopless, ###$ up 18 year who has taking a lot of $#%^ and just wants to be set free so if any want to kill please do cause I am fixing to lose it.

Anonymous wrote:Everyone I have taking pills and talked to ppl how do you think I lost my friends I have seen a psych and he could not even help so I am so at a lost nothing helps and noone helps me now can everyone see why i wanna die I am a hopless, ###$ up 18 year who has taking a lot of $#%^ and just wants to be set free so if any want to kill please do cause I am fixing to lose it.

I'm sorry!! I know you're upset. I know you're bitter and depressed. And yes, I do understand. But I just want you to hold on!! because I think deep down inside whether you realize it or not, you want to live, you just want to live without being miserable. And you can. Please don't give up with doctors. Just try to find someone else that can help you. Please. Have you ever been to a mental hospital? Maybe they could help you there. I just wish you could help. Sometimes meds do nothing (whether they're for your mind or for your physical body), but please just keep trying. You wanna tell us a little more about yourself? I would like to get to know you a little better. What are your interests and such? Do you play any musical instruments? What religion are you a part of?

You're only 18? And you just want to throw the rest of your life away? I can't really say much, because I've wanted to the same thing, but please just hang in there!! You have so much of life ahead!! A life that can be wonderful!!

Please keep talking to us. I'm sorry that I'm apparently not helping much, but please know that we care about you and want what's best for you. You're in my thoughts and prayers. Please hang in there!! Please. And when you feel like you're about to lose and kill yourself, talk to us, or call a crisis hotline or something. Just do something!! Don't let your life slip away!!

If any one wants to chat me with I am yahoo right now s/n is iamalive555 maybe I will feel better if I talk to someone from here who but for shits and giggles it would be fun.

Dear Anonymous Guest,

You're 18...Just at the doorway to adult life....maybe you think we "don't care", but you've got me in Tears....

I remember 18. An Extremely painful time.
I was convinced No One understood, or really cared, and that there was NO OTHER WAY.

You have brought me back to those early years of depression...Yes, a Horrific time, without a Shred of hope....

The only (miniscule) thing I could hang onto, was allowing myself the option of DELAYING my (irreversible) decision, cuz Maybe, just MAYBE there were better times ahead...Actual Relief, and even some Happiness out there.
I was too depressed to see any option except "Leaving" and too young to have any sense that my painful 18, and pre-18 life was LONG, but still TEMPORARY.
And I was afraid I might just Regret it, from the "other side", and then it would be Too Late.

So, somehow, my brain came up with the option of Delaying my (ultimate) decision. So, I didn't "Leave" at that point, if only for the above reasons.

And Damned if I wasn't Right....
I've had Lots of happy times, lots of love and pleasure and had a Career ahead of me! And even jobs that gave me the opportunity (Privilege!) of helping others who felt as bad and as hopeless as I had during my "18-year".

Shockingly, I found. in my "travels", people who were more like myself - the kind pf people who Feel Deeply...who had experienced the searing depth of pain so familiar to me, and understood just how the "Ultimate Exit" seemed the only way "Out".
So, I began to feel Not so hopeless and alone.

I value the above kind of persons Tremendously - people like You and Me....People who Feel Deeply....We are Special, you know...
Not everyone is capable of that!
And 'you know those "people" who tortured you all this time? Element hit it right on the head....They really are Idiots. They are the shallow, nasty, unfeeling "Average" people who won't Begin to "see the light", i.e., realize how Wrong they are - until Many years to come.

And a few are even more hopeless than that...they Remain unfeeling - or even cruel....becoming Sociopaths masquerading as "normals" throughout their lives - wreaking havoc on the rest of us with little or no justice for us....
Or else they choose a life Crime, and live a wasted life among their (worthless) peers. (Sorry for the judgement.)

I was tortured as a kid, also. In recent months, I discovered a book about just that, called "Please Stop Laughing at Me", by Jodee Blanco.
Jodee was tortured, physically and emotionally (verbally) by her school peers as a kid. In the book, she tells about it in detail, and goes on to talk a little about the adult life that followed her tragic past.

She became a well-accepted Success, and has a website on the subject. The website is: jodeeblanco.com - you might look up the site and maybe read the book. And type "bullying", "bully", etc. into your browser, and Tons more such sites and info will pop up.
Did you know that the problem of peer Bullying is a Hot focus these days? There are a Load of books - many by former victims, and Tons of stuff on the internet about it. I know I felt SO relieved reading how the problem was common to So many of us - We are in Good company. (It's Much more common than I would Ever have thought!)

....Which brings me back to an earlier point above....

Way back when I was 18 and right on the edge of Suicide, I had a Slight question as to whether I should go through with it, or whether I should just Wait, in case there just Might be some reason not to that I was not yet aware of...something left that I could, or was supposed to acomplish, or even some relief and Pleasure to be had....

So, I waited.

And sure enough, I am SO grateful that I did. (Thank You, God.)

You mentioned having at least an inkling of thought in the direction of staying among the "rest of us" (Alive)....PLEASE check out some of the above....It sounds like the Bullying in your life, along with your current, severe depression, have brought you to the Deadly, Irreversible conclusion that there's only "one way out".

At least PUT IT OFF for now - until you learn a Lot about bullying and the MASSES of us who chose to survive it, and/or about others you might relate to who have survived Unbearable times ... and/or at least Talk to someone there for you in person, instead of taking that last Step. (You just might regret it, from the Other Side; then it will be Too Late).

Please, PLEASE write to me by Instant Messenger if it might help, or if you prefer a one-to-one discussion....

Hang in there...Don't leave - Think of at least One reason Not to.
You know, if you're 18, you're about through high school (if in the USA), and those lowlife, scumsucking Bullies can no longer get to you....

Love,

offbeatgrl53pf