I WANNA DIE CAN ANYONE HELP

Hello everyone my name is jack 18 M tampa florida I am here becasue I am thinking of killing myself so heres my story.
I have been harrassed,threatened, and had death threats. I have been called #######1 since 7th grade and now that I am 18 the depression is taking over and I cant fight with it anymore and its going to cause me to kill my self. I dont know where to turn and I dont know who to talk to. I dont know whot to trust I dont know who to call a friend they all just pretend to be so ###$ everyone thats how it say the world now I have been screwed with so many times and I reall dont need it I just want the pain and sadness to end.

HI jACK,

I feel for you at the moment . I have felt the same way as you many many times , but trust me things will get better for you.
You are just starting in your life theres so much to look forward to , I know you dont realize that right now , but you will.
You need to talk to someone about how you feel , a teacher , family member, anyone who you think might listen., and support you.
You may be surprised how many people feel this way from time to time , usually for good reasons , you are not alone.
as for people calling you names , please try to rise above them, get some confidence back in who you are, you are better than them!!
I promise things will get better , if you can try to see a doctor and explain your feelings , they are used to hearing this stuff!!
They may be able to help you with some medication to see you through this rough time.

Good luck and keep posting on here if it helps to get you feelings out

love
Freedom

mannnnnnnnnnnn u and me both dude. one thing is, something is prohibiting me from doing so, and i have no idea what. it's like i truly truly want to die, because in my opinion i think i'll be released. i mean, im just waiting on that bus to hit me, or somehow i get into a wreck and just die there, but i can't do it myself.....

Dear Guest and Iblost,

Guys!!

PLEASE don't do anything rash! If you're both young, things WILL get better.

I have felt suicidal countless times, but ALWAYS felt better, if and when I could share my feelings with a compassionate "Other". And, medication and psychotherapy do help...a Lot.

I'm So glad you both are writing here (survival instinct?)
Please keep writing!!

Thanx for sharing,

offbeatgrl53pf

offbeatgrl53pf wrote:
I have felt suicidal countless times, but ALWAYS felt better, if and when I could share my feelings with a compassionate "Other". And, medication and psychotherapy do help...a Lot.



offbeatgrl53pf

that's the problem. what id u dont have an 'Other' u can share with. and no medical specialist will hear u out. they write u a prescription and u'r on ur way to poppin pills. thanks for the lookup though[/u]

Hello, again, Iblost....

Well, you always have people who understand, on these forums.

As far as professional help....Your psychiatrist sounds pretty typical.
They tend to book 15 minute sessions, and primarily (or only?) focus on your medication. Most don't do psychotherapy.

Have you tried asking your psychiatrist for a referral, or just to give you some leads to some counseling/therapy?

Do you have health insurance? My health insurance provider sent me a booklet, after I asked them to share a list of certain kinds of health providers. From there, I was able to choose providers on my plan.

Have you gone to the Initial page before the psychforums.com forums appear?
You can type into your address bar: psychforums.com...from there you can try to access some providers in your area.

Or, do you live with parents, and believe they will try to stand in the way of your getting therapy?

Mine were like that. When I first began therapy, it was in a local hospital's outpatient mental health clinic, for a sliding fee - cost me $3 per session, as she knew I earned only $15 per week in my part time job, and had to buy gas for the car to get myself to my classes in the next town. (Had no insurance separate from my mother's).

I was hooked up with an Excellent therapist, who went with me to "places" I'd never Dreamed anyone would, or could. She was the first person to hear the "strange things' I really Needed to share and explore with someone. I didn't let my parents know that I was in therapy until I felt SOLIDLY that they couldn't ruin it for me in any way - a year or 2 later. They had the expected reactions, but by that time it didn't matter What they said - I KNEW how beneficial it was for me, and Couldn't be influenced, or prevented from going to therapy.
(I was 19 or 20 at the time.)

Do you go to school? Do you have transportation to get to a therapist when you find one?

I'm quite sure my parents considered my time away from the house as being taken up with my college classes or at the library, so I never had to explain where I was going, to "sneak off" to therapy.

Might this work for you?

Even the phone book has Tons of therapists in it - social workers, psychologists, certified counselors....Have you looked? Therapists are Everywhere!

And Know you have the right to "shop" for just the right one for You. Someone you consider competent to deal with you, and that you feel at ease with and liked (& understood) by. (The First one might not be a match, but don't worry....it doesn't signify anything about You and your situation - it just means it's not a "match".

(Actually, the First person I approached for help was a college guidance counselor, who apparently did Not have either the training, or personality to help me...I found this out by the first or 2nd meeting. I found his approach to be very "shallow"....I didn't feel understood by him At All. Didn't have the skills to help me, but might have steered me in a helpful direction, instead of trying to handle me Himself.)
The therapist I saw next was the one at the hospital clinic. She was well-trained in Gestalt therapy, and knew a fair share about bioenergetics - both of which were helpful in working with me. She went DEEP with me....Just the approach I desperately needed.

Keep posting if it helps...at least you can feel Understood by the people here, to "tide you over" until you find a competent professional to help you. And you might find it helpful to keep in touch with us at the forums, even after you Do find the right therapeutic match.

Good Luck, and thanks So much for sharing! I hope to hear from you again (and again)!

offbeatgrl53pf

Please don't kill yourself. I have similar thoughts all the time, and I cry and cry and then I kind of let it pass and don't do it. Think of all the people you are trying to reach out to, who you will think will miss you when you die, go and talk to them NOW.

A simple thing I do is write "Accepting hug donations" and put a sad face on my MSN... it's amazing how many of the people on my list all suddenly contact me to tell me to be happy cos they love me! It really works and cheers you up. Just when you thought nobody cared...

As for those idiots who are bullying you and calling you names, just think how insecure in themselves they are, that they have to behave like that towards you. You don't even need to bother yourself with them, they will be NOBODIES when they are older and you will be a person with emotion, soul, character, compassion, self-worth and appreciation of others - because of the pain you've gone through and the way you've pulled yourself through it.

Lots of love xxx

Jack, please don't kill yourself!! Though you may not realize it, you're a special, unique person, and you are here for a reason. People can be terribly cruel. But you don't deserve to be mistreated. I get really depressed at times, and I want to die. I just day dream about killing myself. But eventually, I feel better. I hope you'll feel better also. Please don't kill yourself. Talk to someone. Just don't kill yourself!!

Hey everyone thanks for trying to help but I am going to kill my self iblost thanks for afreeing with me man. I am just so sick of the pain and hell I have. I have died on the inside now its time to die on the outside I am going to take my face and bash itinto a ######6 mirrior then everyone will be hapy and wont have an eccuce to call me #######1,home,aids patient cause I am neither one of those 3 I am so sick of the hating god did not want that when he made us. I am also sick of the torment, the hearrassmen, the death threats, and everything else.

Anonymous wrote:Hey everyone thanks for trying to help but I am going to kill my self iblost thanks for afreeing with me man. I am just so sick of the pain and hell I have. I have died on the inside now its time to die on the outside I am going to take my face and bash itinto a ######6 mirrior then everyone will be hapy and wont have an excuse to call me #######1,homo,and aids patient cause I am neither one of those 3 I am so sick of the hating, god did not want that when he made us. I am also sick of the torment, the hearrassment, the death threats, and everything else.