Vent *May Trigger*

gremlingirl14 wrote:Hey,
I've tried talking to my school counselor about this. Umm.. unfortunately, my school counselor doesn't actually have training in social work or anything like that. Her degree is for doing college stuff, not actually being a counselor. It never really helped much when it came to this stuff. Actually talking to my school counselor didn't really help at all when I talked to her about a lot of stuff. Whenever I talked to her about a lot of things, I just kind of broke down and started crying and cried the whole time and she didn't really do anything.
Anyways, if anyone wants to know anything else, feel free to ask, I'm more than willing to answer.

~Jamie~

well that is too bad i think that you should consider going on a three to four mile run becuase i find that getting some good excericse always helps me to get in better shape. i think that you should also consdier watching some more sports on television.

Hey,
Umm.... most types of exercising doesn't help much, just causes more pain... lol... the only type of exercising that I can really do without too much pain is bike riding.... and I don't watch tv. I'm kind of addicted to the internet... lol. Umm... I do get out a lot though. I go out on bike rides quite a bit, often several times a day. If things are getting bad at home and I know I can get out I tell everyone I'm going on a bike ride and I'll be home in an hour to an hour and a half. I would go out running, but I have several problems that arise when I do that. First thing is, I can't breathe when I'm running and the second one is I have a problem with my knee, possibly torn ligaments, so whenever I run I end up in more pain then I normally would be in. As for watching sports on tv. I don't get control over the tv, my grandma gets it during the day and my dad gets it at night, so I don't get to watch things on tv, which is ok because I don't really like watching tv anyways. Anyways, any other suggestions?? I know... it's hard to find stuff that works for me, that's my problem. I'm going to talk to my youth choir director Tuesday at softball and hopefully that will help a little bit.
Anyways, I'm gonna go for now.

~Jamie~

i need out.... I need out.... I Need out... I NEed out.... I NEEd out.... I NEED out.... I NEED Out..... I NEED OUt.... I NEED OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm so sick of it.... all of it... everything.... life..... in..... general...... grr..... I hate it.....
OK, sorry... needed to get that out.... I'm just so sick of my life. I can't seem to do anything that is good enough for others. I hate it. Now I feel like starting to cut again.... and it's not fun.... and the 2 friends that can help me aren't online.... grr.... I hate it.... I really do.
I hate my life. I never wanna see daylight again, but I know that's not possible. I'm not dumb enough to do anything to make it possible.
Blood sugar is either too high or too low right now... starting to feel weird... so gonna go.

~Jamie~

So depressed... really missing my aunt... wanna cry.... sick of all the crying.... sick of missing her... just wanna be in her arms again.... wanna be able to hear her voice again.... wanna be able to call her when something goes wrong. I hate that she died. She was only 37! Why did she have to go? Why did she have to leave us all? I feel so lost without her. I know, it's been 3 years now, I should be over it, but I'm not. It's really depressing me. I can't get to sleep until at least 2 in the morning because I'm feeling so depressed.
Things at home aren't helping any. I don't know much much more I can take before I snap. I'm already starting to feel like I'm going to have a mental break down. I've been hearing things that aren't even happening the last few nights. Last night I had a weird dream that I'm not sure if one part was a serious cry for help or not (don't even know why I dreamed about it).
Last night I dreamed that I went up to Laurium and was at the Laurium Manor Inn (a mansion that got turned into a bed and breakfast) and on my walk home, I saw my dad coming across the bridge, so I jumped and ended up free falling 100 feet and landing under the bridge, landed unharmed. I keep wondering what exactly I jumped in the dream. I was really stressed last night... and everything (as I'm sure my last reply to this post shows), so I'm wondering if it had something to do with that, but I don't know.
Anyways, someone please give me some suggestions, if you can.

~Jamie~

OK, today was a really bad day. I was in an accident today. I hit a car with my bike and hit the hood and fell to the ground. I got brought to the hospital by ambulance. I sprained my wrist and have a few bruises, one big one on my leg where my bike hit my leg when I hit the car. *sighs* That didn't help anything at all, oh well. I'm gonna go.

~Jamie~