....anyone have psychotic depression?

hi,

im just interested in talking to/hearing about anyone's experience with psychotic depression.

I have schizophrenia, but i was misdiagnosed with psychotic depression before being diagnosed with schiz. I've been having the schiz symptoms almost my whole life (started hearing voices, seeing things, etc. when i was about 3 or 4)
2 years ago, when i was 16, i started getting real depressed ,suicidal and SI'ing every day. I guess i was misdiagnosed with psychotic depression, because i didn't make it clear to the doctors that my psychotic symptoms had been occuring for a long time, before i was ever depressed.

so, anyways, im just wondering what your psychotic symptoms are like if you have psychotic depression..what kinds of hallucinations, delusions,paranoias, or other things do you experience?.

thanks.

-Becka

shadowsinme,

When I go through a depression I experience psychotic symptoms. I hear noises and voices, have paranoia and hallucinate on a small scale.

Back about a year ago my P doc put me on Abilify. That took care of most of the psychotic symptoms for me.

I hope this helps. Feel free to ask if you want a more specific answer.

Take Care,
Kathy

ive had several psychotic episodes...

they always came with hallucinations, voices and paranoia, but on small scale... most of it was me jsut sitting there wispering, cutting myself..

you could compare me with those kids in straighjackets.. i had no control..

thats all im willing to say at this time..

hi shadowsinme,

i'm glad you brought up the subject of hallucinations and depression, i had been wondering if anyone experiences that, as it is never mentioned in symptoms lists. i have always seen and heard things, since i was a very small child. not only when i am in a bad mood, but it seems that depression makes it worse, definitely more threatening in nature. you were asking for details, so here we go: the most common thing i see is a dark figure, like an almost rectangular shadow, but with substance. it follows me, stands close behind or next to me, and it extremely threatening. if it is there i know i have to be on guard, because it could kill me. another one is a very old womans voice that has been with me all my life, and wispers things in my ears, mostly negative stuff, or outrageous suggestions. also threatening. in a particular bad episode of depression, i couldn't go out on the street anymore, because faces of people would change like liquid in front of my eyes, and morph into demon-masks, snarling and leering. *shudder* but i also see and hear good things, like some trees have told me stories and gave advice, and i seem to have good connection to faeries and little folk, who help.
dunno if this would be diagnosed as schizo - for me it is normal, and to some degree quite real. i guess i don't know any different.
how about you? i am very interested to hear your story... and about your hallucinations.

onwards!

I doubt my depression could be considered psychotic, but it was fairly severe. I had anxiety attacks where I would almost "lose myself". Almost like my mind went to the other couch to watch the "encore" that was going on in my head and with my body. Thoughts were going nuts in my head, to kill myself. I had slight paranoia when it came to my girlfriend or being at school. I felt like everyone was some sort of non-living drone and I was just walking the halls with them. At home I would have vague memories about the day at school, but it was hard for me to distinguish between the days. I could only ever remember walking around and sitting in the desks, I could not remember anything that happened. The smallest things upset me so badly. Someone telling me not to touch something. I didn't have any halucinations. Closest thing to a halucination would have been those attacks where I couldn't control my thoughts. I got so suicidal. As for delusions, again I wouldn't call it that. I just turned into a totally illogical person, like I was a child again. I believed by doing certain things it would FIX everything.

I have had periods in which my mind was full of delusions that became obsessions. Doctors put me on strong anti-psychotic medication which stopped the delusions and all other thinking besides. I have found depression for many years so i would say that one could have delusions as well as depression.
James

I was diagnosed with "Major depression with psychotic features."

I was having delusions and hallucinations and hearing voices. Plus I was chronically depressed. That was when I was in the hospital. Two years out of the hospital they now say I am schizophrenic.

kagura, we are in the same boat, sort of, i was diagnosed with major depression w/ psychotic features too, but i have been having delusions for a long time now, like for instance in highschool i severed all friends i had because i believe that God only wnated me to be friends with certain church people, and i basically sat in my room and studied the bible for two years, yeah psycho eh? yay i started my cult, yay!

anyway, pretty crazy, and i was always wierd, i don't know just always just thought and said wierd things, but eh? people call me quirky, so maybe thats all that it is. anyway, college, i did alot of things i never said that i would but i'm not the only one i know, first sem i had a bf that just wanted to be with me, and wasn't about to be in love with me anytime soon, but i was in love with him, so it was pretty devastating to let him go, especially after i had isolated myself for so long, this was my first real bf and i was in college, so i was pretty depressed, and it was beginning to occur to me hwo wierd the whole locking myself in my room and reading the bible thing was, and i was misisng tommy, that's his name, so then second semester comes and bout feb i get a new bf who i am still with and am so in love with:)ah, well school wasn't going so well, i felt unable to concentrate and i felt like i couldn't do the work like i used to be able to, i felt distracted all of the time, things jsut weren't right. i stopped hanging with friends as much i stopped going to classes, and i jsut felt discombobulated, and like i needed to just get away to get over this all. well then one night me and will, my current bf, had a fight, and thats when suzy started talking to me big time.

we had a fight about somthing, i don't remeber, i think it was over a friend of ours, and we decided to just go to bed cause it was late, and he was sleepin over, and so i was just laying there, for about thirty minutes, and then she started speaking to me, and i started talking to will ina real childish voice i was scared and i din't know where i was at, i felt out of body, just like i wa sno longer there, sombody else had control over my body, suzy.

she lives/ lived in the back of my head and was talking to me, if she told me to laugh, i would laugh, she told me to be scared , i was scared, you get the picture, well this scarred the hell outta my boyfriend, and so he made me take him home, real wierd, but as i was driving him back i saw a bunny run across the road and i swerved to miss it, but it wasn't real, that scared him to, so i took him home, and me and suzy went home, she was happy because she didn't trust him, so we went back and went to sleep. i don't know how, but i just stoped listening and i drifted off i guess.

well about three days later i wanted to break up with him becaus ehe was being riddiculous, and we had a long talk and when i woke up, i was psychotic again, suzy was back, she was afraid, and she was seeing $#%^. it was scary, so this time my friends took me to the emergency room. where suzy told me ways to kill myself and my friend int he hospital room, but my will was too strong, i was not about to let some voice kill my friend.

well, so the next day i checked into a mental hospital, adn thats where i heard my first, and only one auditory voice. it whispered ~rachel~~~~~~~and it scared the $#%^ out of me, well i got on abilify immediately, and it all stopped, the only problem wa si got tardive dyskinisia from it to so the next month whil ei wa son it was hell, and then finally i got off and i was fine till i started seeing things again and was getting paranoid ocnstantly, i couldn't funtion, so i got on rispedal and prozac, and that with some weed use, cured me, i feel cured now. better.

i am now attenting college again, with only three classes, to get back into things, and am visiting my old college where my boyfriend is at, i have a steady job and have made lots of new friends, i thnk that i have evened out.