Am I depressed?!

Hi,

I think I have dysthimic (chronic) depression, because I have all the symptoms of depression for more than 5 years know. But I've never been to a doctor/psychiater so I don't know for sure. I don't want to go since I want to solve everything myself and don't like medication. My main problems are that I have zero energy and zero confidence, so I can't/don't do anything. Sometimes I try to get active but I give up after one day since everything is hopeless. I have no hope, desire and don't care about anything. Maybe I'm just really lazy, or is this the depression? I would like to have a life but without energy or confidence it's impossible.

Excuse my English I'm a foreigner.

You might very well have depression. You also might just have a negative attitude, maybe caused by a string of painful experiences. A counselor can help you. There are a number of self tests available on the web if you run a search for one. They are not the complete answer, but they will give you more knowledge about depression.

If you have depression, you can probably be helped by any number of medications. Depression is a very treatable illness.
Good Luck,
Jim S

So which one is it, depression or negative attitude?! I do want to have a nice life and before this depression I was a very nice fun guy. But some disappointments and poor choices in my life, and I became very unhappy (depressed). Which meant I didn't have the positive attitude anymore to improve my life. When you're depressed you're not a fun person, and so you get easily rejected by people, which makes you even more depressed... after a while I just gave up because I just couldn't save myself. I'd rather feel nothing (numb) than feel bad... I have struggled since I was young with what's the meaning of life, why am I here?! I grew up in a stupid small country town and couldn't find people like me (only 'hillbillies'!), so I've always felt pretty lonely there. My parents didn't help me either, my dad never talked to me/us. So I've had no good rollmodel and have no idea what to do with myself. So after highschool (which sucked) at 17 I decided to take a year off, because I figured college would be just as bad as highschool (not knowing there's a fun world out there)... This was a bad mistake since I got very bored, lonely and depressed. Then finally I went to college feeling very depressed, and I just couldn't find my way there. After two years I had enough and just gave up, I didn't want to do it anymore. I've never had someone that gives me (good) advice what to do... I got lost in the woods and couldn't find a way out of it...

I only found out 4 months ago that I have (dysthimic) depression, so before that I had no idea what was going on with me, why I was feeling so hopeless 24/7. Now I know I have a severe psychical problem and I need to get rid of it. The problem is my life is a traincrash and don't know how to make it better.

Sorry for being so depressing I just can't help it (I'm dysthimic)...

I know I should probably get professional help, but I'm a very stubborn guy who thinks he needs to solve everything himself, and asking for help is a failure and weakness... and medications well I'm worried about side-effects and that I become dependent on them.

Hey.

I can really relate to what you are going through. Not totally and completely, but somewhat. I live in a small town. I don't have any friends around here, really. I'm homeschooled which means I don't have much of a social life. I may go to public school next year, but I'm not sure yet. But I do know how you feel to some extent. I've been dealing with major mood swings. And the highs are fun, but the lows are miserable. Sometimes I feel like giving up and killing myself, but then I realize that it isn't worth it. And even if I don't realize it at the time, I just hold on because deep down I know things will get better. And I wouldn't want to hurt my family. I've dealt with some of my emotions by hurting my body, but I also realize that that isn't helping anything, so I haven't done it in a while. I know how it feels to think life is hopeless though. Lately I've been doing really well though!! I think I'm "better" although I haven't been dianosed with anything to get better from.

So...anyway, I hope you can get help. Asking for help is NOT a weakness and it shouldn't be viewed as failure. The reason I have not gotten help, is because I'm too chicken and weak to do it. I wish I were strong enough!!! But I'm gonna consider it if I get really bad again.

~element

BEST OF LUCK!! GOD BLESS!!

Anonymous wrote:But I've never been to a doctor/psychiater so I don't know for sure. I don't want to go since I want to solve everything myself and don't like medication.

Like you, I also thought this way about both physicians (all kinds, including psychiatrists) and medications for many, many years. I just recently began to open up to the idea last year when I really starting plummeting and couldn't pull myself out of it using only my own methods. I've recently come to realize that this way of thinking might have been because I've always been extremely independent and quite a perfectionist (some characteristics of OCPD, Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder).

Anonymous wrote:My main problems are that I have zero energy and zero confidence, so I can't/don't do anything. Sometimes I try to get active but I give up after one day since everything is hopeless. I have no hope, desire and don't care about anything. Maybe I'm just really lazy, or is this the depression? I would like to have a life but without energy or confidence it's impossible.

I have also been feeling exactly this way very recently. It's funny that you mention the lazy vs. depression question because I just recently was wondering to myself: What's the difference between them? Perhaps 20 years ago, my grandfather would cuss his nephew for being lazy; however, now that I look back on it, I think his nephew was actually depressed. But, I guess depression, as a medical condition, wasn't nearly as known then as it is today.

Anonymous wrote:Excuse my English I'm a foreigner.

Actually, your writing is one of the best I've seen.

yep definitely sounds like depression to me. i would consider seeing a psychologist if you havent already