Can't be happy

I am a middle class 49-year-old woman with with a reasonably good income. Ssmething inside of me tells me I have no right to feel sad all of the time that many people are worse off. But I do feel sad...I find I cannot find joy in much of anything. I am married to a transgerdered man (who told me he was 'cured' when we were married)...he compulsively buys women's clothes. Through various decisions, some of which I particitated in, we are on the edge financially. Sometimes I am so depressed I feel dysfunctional. Then I know to do my job I must hide it, which causes more stress. My husband is a dreamer who started his own business two years ago. The first year it made nothing, the second year, he made 30,000. His health is bad and I'm terribly afraid that I'll be left holding the financial bag. I just can't find peace in my heart and am stressed, tired, and depressed all of the time. All joy has evaporated. You may say why don't you just divorce your husband. I am twice divorced and just can't do that again. I am committed to riding it out but the ride is not a good one.

Dear Sadcat,
I'm sorry to hear how your life has been mistreating somone as wonderful as you. This matter is definatly not completely your fault. Somtimes when you feel depressed, stressed, or scared your mind begins to develop "negative" and even "frightening" thoughts and feelings. Fortunatly you can control these subconciously developed feelings by ignoring them and accepting all the "positive" thoughts. This should help greatfully by making you feel better. Now, I do realize that there are many factors which are making you feel depressed and stressed. Have you ever considered creating some kind of "action plan" that could potencially provide many idea's and plans that you could use to solve your situations? For example, you say that you cant find much joy in what you do anymore, have you tried thinking of and working with the variables that have made you feel this way? (Try finding a hobby you enjoy doing, spend some fun and entertaining fun with your husband etc) Have you considered taking your husband out for a night where the both of you could have some fun and enjoy each others company? It seems to me that your husband is a major aspect towards your stress. You should definatly consider working things out with him. Dont hide your thoughts and feelings from him as this can continue to stress you out. Try revealing your feelings at appropriate times where he can understand your stress and try to work things out with you. Working things out with somone is all in timing and at the right momment. I hope things work out and you find the courage to reveal all those "positive" thoughts and feelings in yourself.