Not coping

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I was depressed about 6am, called the Crisis Team, chatted to them & felt ok, went to sleep. Anyway, then I go into work feeling abit shaky & the (Well known) customer from hell comes in. He decides he wants me to serve him (I'm a Checkout Op) & I really can't face it, knowing it'd be one of my triggers with how I was already that particular day, so as the customers still doing his shopping I decide to come off checkouts & go on Customer Services, where i'm safe from him. Also, last night a colleague had told me I'd be on Customer Services that day to train. So this customer tells them he wants me to serve him & the manager comes over & asks me to go serve him. So I said he can't just come in & demand who he wants opens a checkout to serve him when there's already some open & no queues. The manager keeps trying to get me to serve him, so I say what'd happen if I come in in the day tomorrow & demand the Customer Service colleague goes on checkouts & serves me, would it happen? Would it balls. I told the manager I wouldn't serve him & would walk out if he tried to make me. Anyway that shook me up abit & annoyed me that the manager was more bothered that the customer from hell, who's banned almost everywhere else, was happy than a colleague who's also a customer & not a trouble maker. So then after work, 2am, I go for a refund. (Bear in mind that i'm now clocked out & a customer). The girl doing the refund asks me if she can serve another customer behind me first (This customer didn't just have 1 item), I say i'd prefer her not too, as i'd had a long shift & was really feeling depressed & wanted to get home as it was 2am & I have to walk home, which takes ages. So the colleague went ahead & served her, the other customer, anyway. Now after we clock out we're a customer, and should be treated as one. I called the manager & she agreed but I was about to explode. Normally i'm very laid back & don't get outwardly angry, if someone has a go at me I get upset & turn my anger inwards on myself, but recently i'm just getting so mad. I wasn't shouting but I was so stressed. I hate my personality being fine one minute then angry & crying the next & wanting to die. How can that bring on depression ;{

aaaaaaaa

I am new here and can totally relate to your situation. I also work in retail here in Canada. Being depressed and suffering from depression is bad enough but also having to put up with demanding, rude, overbearing customers sometimes seems to much to handle at times.

a few customers have complained about me to the manager because they couldn't "bully" me into doing what they wanted but I don't really care.

P.S. Do not stop taking medication, I work in a drugstore and forgot to get mine refilled, when i did try to refill it there were no refills left and i needed to make a doc's appointment to get it refilled. Going through 5 days of withdrawal symptoms and relase of depressive symptoms is no fun. Lesson learned- plan ahead.