Depression?

Hello all,

Currently on anti depressants. I suffer from mood swings, usually atleast one or two a day, from 'normal' (which includes feeling increased need to socialise, wanting to get out and exercise) to moderate - severe depression (self harm , very low self esteem, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, overeating, very tired, hopelessness etc.). These are taking a toll on me, and those around. My girlfriend gets annoyed with my mood swings. We have been together for nearly 4 years and I have had depression around her before and she has coped, but not now. I get bouts of anger. I go from loving her to wishing she would go. I go from loving my life and looking forward to everything, to not wanting to go outside and just sit and watch TV and sit on my computer. Most of all I am bored. Bored of this life. I am working now, is this all life is?

I try not to let this show. I am able to function well. I achieved very good grades in my A levels, I have an offer at a respected university and I am currently working with a leading company in my interests. But this is not enough for me. Inside, I feel like I just struggle through the day, and stumble through life, not doing anything.

Right now, I am at work typing this. All day I have achieved near to nothing. I can't concentrate, I just wish I was at home to sleep. I should go to the gym, but the thought is just to much to think about.

Is this depression? Or am I just being silly?

Anybody have any ideas on what else it may be. I have seen 3 doctors/ psychiatrists/ therapists recently and none have given me a diagnosis.

What is wrong with me????

Hey,

The first thing that strikes me is that you said you have been to three doctors - Por qué / why? People don't receive a diagnosis immediately. look at it from the doctor's point of view - i.e. he/she has most likely never seen you befoer and would like to see you a few times before making a decision. So, my advice on this issue is to go to the same GP a few times. You mentioned A-levels, so i'll assume that you're in the UK like me. You also mentioned a psychiatrist - if you are still seeing him/her, then continue to go.

Typically, the process works like this: You go to yiour GP; you get a referral to see a psychistrist; The psychiatrist might refer you further to a therapist.

In my opinion, it sounds like you have dysthymia. However, you could very well fit the criteria for various illnesses. No decision might ever seem like the right one in your life, but one thing to remember is that simply changing things can sometimes bring new opportunities and *ahem* happiness. So, take the university offer and leave the work alone. You have - I assume - been working for years and could well do with a change.

Gone are the days when the majority are content to stay in the same role for years. People prefer to move around now.


Kevin

Thanks for the reply,

I have seen three people in different places. First was in college, second was in my old home town as i git referred from my old Gp. Third was my current Gp. I am seeing a counsellor on Wednesday.

I am on a gap year and i am on an years work experience so just started work.

O just was a diagnosis so I dont feel like i am attention seeking

Where did you hear the 'attention seeking' term before?; and why do you feel it's a bad thing? People look for attention when they want help. It is ignorant people who see this as being 'wrong'. Never let anyone tell you that attention seeking is wrong, as it is a clear sign that something is wrong and that you need help.

Thanks for informing me about the GP situation... ...makes sense why you'veseen three of them now.

Kevin

I guess since youve been to three doctors for depression and mood its still quite possible all of them neglected your diet.
I say this too often but this wont be the last either, check out Candida symptoms to be sure that is not whats causing your mood swings etc.
If its not that then i wish you the best on your search.
All i can say is its good that your are searching online for yourself too.
I would never have recovered if i didnt go searching.Keep looking you will find it with perseverance.