Looking for some help, thanks

Hey everyone, here it is.

So..I feel lost in my head i guess, I'd rather put my head down in class even if im not tired just to think about..nothing it seems, I'm just wasting time. I dropped out of sports, and i hardley hang out with my friends as much this year. Even when I do i find it hard to be in the moment, I'm constantly worried that I'm not good enough to hang with them or something. I'll be afraid to speak because I don't want to say the wrong thing and look dumb.. I was never like this.

Even with my best friend who even while I was talking to today, I was worried I was making a bad impression and a crappy conversation because my mind just wasn't in it. My mind is always on how messed up I feel or this girl, I like her a ton and I know she likes me but I feel to messed up in my head to do anything about it. I'm scared that if I start to talk to her more that my mind wouldn't be in it at its full potential and I'll just come across as dull and uncaring.. and I know its sad but I'm really self consciouss as well and wouldn't approach her on a bad looking day.. which i feel is most days. When I'm away from her though all i can think about is her and its ruining my social life.

So now I have social problems because I'm always wondering about how I'm coming across and I'm always wondering in my head if what I just said 2 seconds ago..was the right thing. I like this girl so much and I don't want to ruin anything, but I can't seem to get my head to think and operate like it used to. Yeah this girl is the first one I've really really liked.. we text alot so she seems really cool. I'm always saying that as soon as I "fix myself" I'll start talking to her more. I just feel like I'm becoming such a crappy person and all I can think about is this girl which I'm probably pushing away and the fact that I'm also becoming such a crappy person.

I'm always nervous around people trying to impress them I guess and to worried about what they might think. I have no will to do anything, I'm really self consciouss about myself and I live in my head alot I guess even around friends now adays. All I do is think about negative thoughts that continue to pull me down.. I feel I've forgotten the way the old real me was and I'm stuck this way. Today I was the first one out of school walking home because I felt like.. like this. I don't even do my homework and the fact of graduating makes me feel even worse because I don't know what my future is going to be like.

So any ideas?

First post

Hi Lost,

Welcome to the forums.

Sounds like you're going through a downward spiral. You like this girl, but you're afraid of messing up with her. So you beat yourself up for it. And then you're worse off than you were before.

It's pretty normal to want to always say and do the right thing. But the reality is that everyone makes mistakes. Everyone looks dumb at some point in time. For me, the trick is to not make an issue of it. Because if you act like something is OK, people around you are more likely to see it that way, too.

I'm worried that you might be backing yourself into a corner. In your post, I saw a lot of roadblocks. "I'll make a move when I fix myself." Now, it's true that it's best to be grounded and healthy before beginning a relationship--but at some point you have to accept yourself as you are. It almost sounds like you're trying to protect yourself from her rejection by not making a move. I'm not saying you should or shouldn't. Just an observation.

By "accepting yourself" I don't mean accepting the condition you're in as where you want to be for the rest of your life. Accepting yourself means that you know your limits and your possibilities. It means knowing where you are now and what you can do to get where you want. It means forgiving yourself for your weaknesses so that you can capitalize on your strengths.

Sounds like you've got a fear of the unknown. Like, life after graduation. It's a pretty common thing.

Here are a couple of sites to get you started:
http://kidshealth.org/teen/school_jobs/ ... er_hs.html
"So, what are you doing after graduation?" Many juniors and seniors get bored answering that question over and over. Whether your plans include college, heading straight for the workforce, or taking a year off, here are some practical tips to prepare yourself for the journey.

http://www.vaview.vt.edu/912/check-it/who-r-u/
This is a short career test for grades 9-12. Obviously, don't take it as gospel, but it might help you figure out what you'd like to do after you graduate. I've been out of college for a while now, and I still found it useful.

I know this is a lot to take in right away, so feel free to come back and look at it whenever you're ready.


The biggest thing to remember is to enjoy what you're doing, not other people's opinions of what you're doing.

Good luck to ya! Come back and post if you've got questions about anything I've just written.

--Frayed