opening up

well I'm finally opening up enough to mention my moods after 5 years of having them. The response is less than encouraging. Very few people care because they have their own issues to deal with. I don't dislike them for it at all though, it's not like I'm always concerned about them either. I get the horrible feeling that I'm just seeking attention for some silly reason. It does feel better to be more open and honest though I must say.

A problem shared is a problem halved, and maybe if anyone else feels the same this might make em feel a bit better.

It does feel better to be more open and honest

Amen to that. I recently started forcing myself to be honest with what I think and feel. I even posted a lengthy personality inventory....then I hid in my house, with the phone turned off, for 10 days. But the sky has not fallen, and it's business as usual.

Before, when I'd open up to people, I'd get the same feeling. I'd berate myself for seeking attention. Don't know why, since that's what humans naturally do. And there are some good reasons for seeking attention. In your case and mine, we are indeed looking for attention, but we're doing it to receive feedback. It's important for our growth and recovery.

In a way, someone not caring about your moods is actually a good thing. That might mean that they are not bothered by them. It's kind of like passive but positive feedback. I'm assuming you're talking about "offline" people. And you're right, you'll get and give varying degrees of concern. That's only human, too. Don't think of it as a personal affront. People have limited resources. There are days that I won't return my mother's phone calls because I don't have the emotional resources to talk about her problems. I still love her, though.

And yes, it does make me feel a bit better that you posted this. It reminds me that I'm not the only one who feels this way. So in a way, this answer is partially self-serving. That happens a lot, actually. A lot of times I'll accidentally help myself while answering a seemingly unrelated post and realize it a few days later.

I hope you keep doing what you're doing. And I hope I do, too. It scared the crap out of me at first, but I think I'm better off for it. It's nice to be me just for the sake of being me.

oo you replied to this one too.
haha yeah I often withdraw if I have shown too much of who I am.
passive but positive feedback... hmm i hadn't thought about it like that, but yeah it makes sense. I think people often think I'm joking when I tell them how I feel, because I say it in a comic way or I'm grinning as I say it.
thanks for the encouragement.

I use humor as a defense mechanism a lot. I'm starting to realize how "off" some of my jokes are. I've learned to laugh at a lot of stuff in my life, but I'm starting to realize how startling they must be to people who aren't aware of my train of thought.

For example, today my fiance and I went to visit my Mom'n'Dad-in-law. They have a dog that likes to "help" with the dishes. So there he is, half of him in the dishwasher, when all of a sudden I say, "Aww, he's so cute. He reminds me of my mother with her head in the oven." Yeaahhh....

I think I'll be talking about that with my therapist, lol. Not so much about Mama and ovens, but about the relevance of my humor and the discomfort it occasionally causes others. And also about how my use of humor sometimes causes me to misrepresent myself.

Just thought I'd share.

was it wrong of me to laugh at that joke? once I thought about it I did feel kinda bad. Is that a story you're ready to talk about?

I had a moment like that today actually, talking about man on man rape. My sick sense of humour hasn't got me very far lol. It's probably a defence mechanism yeah. I remember my thought process back in the day when I really went to town with sick jokes, I thought that I was only pretending to be strange and that made me feel more in control. Either way it had the same effect.

here's an old favourite.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vA-G67BSb9Y&feature=related

Oh my GOD that is ######6 HILARIOUS!!! I love it. I just sent it off to a couple folks I know.



Nah, it's not wrong to laugh. I'm pretty much over the whole thing. And since I am over the event(s), my sense of humor just kind of dangles out there and I don't know what to do with it. I also have a very sweet side to my humor, and I'd like to keep that.

I often compulsively berate myself, too. And yes, sometimes it has gone as far as laughing at myself when I was already crying. I think you're right, it's a control thing. You're gaining a false sense of control by being abusive toward yourself.

Finding a way to laugh at something can definitely be therapeutic. It makes the subject matter seem much less threatening.

Oh, and yes, the video definitely helps me cope (through laughter) with fears of being stalked and hurt. And most of them are actually founded in reality!