not capable of friendship's or relationship's

Little while ago i deleted a good friend's contact off my messenger currently the only friend that wanted to stick with me, im not capable of friendship's and im not capable of romantic relationship's and right now im thinking to do everyone a favor and just shut myself off from anyone wanting to be friend's with me. I'm depressed and dont want help i want to be left alone, jessica was trying soo much to help me that im ######6 sick of it because instead of us being good friend's like we started out being she was like becomeing part of my illness im trying to forget. I cant get away from this illness i cant kill it i cant eat it i can only love it cause nobobody else want's my love being expressed to them, there's alway's something they dont like about me or want to change or help and im sick of it. Telling me to be positive look in the mirror telling me i need to change when im just glad to be alive but noo they want me to be good for them instead of keeping myself together and im not doing it. I can love, i can help, i cant sochilize, i dont want anyone feeling sorry for me, dont try to change me to fit your likeing cause im not gonna do it the only thing i will do is what you ("want" when your in need) otherwise im not gonna bother anyone. never good enuff untill someone else can benafit.

Well, sometimes it's good to just be alone and with personal thoughts and decide what is needed for the self instead of others.

Thank you shutin.. yeah i agree with you and this don't mean i gotta stop careing about other's because i alway's have and that aint gonna quit any spacific time that i know of yet. I'm feeling better now but needing sleep soo goodnight's ..