just want to give up..

...

Murderface, you could try talking to your doctor and asking for advice or talking to a counsellor at your college. It must be so stressful for you.. Even if your family act like there is no other way, that doesn't have to be the case. You can decide to take a break, even if they'll react badly. Maybe you could ask your doc or therapist to talk to them too, if you get one. Don't give up, please.

yeah I guess I could try. Most of the time I dont even feel like getting help.. it seems like a lot of effort. It's not that I don't consider my problems bad enough, I'm just too despondent to care. I actually don't know who my doctor is, but I know where his/her practice is. I'm a bit scared of taking anti-depressants as well.
hmm counselling sounds alright. I used to get it, but they stopped it after I left temporarily.

Then go ahead and try to get that for now. I've met people here who found meds to be helpful. It might feel liberating to be able to feel so much when you're sad and you might be afraid of change, but you have to do the right thing for yourself.

Hello Murderface,

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say something that may sound a little 'out there' to some. Here goes . . . two things . . . 1) Sound scientific research is now demonstrating that Yoga is an effective tool in raising a depressed mood. Yoga, in conjunction with good counselling, could work to get your life onto a track that ultimately would be meaningful to you. 2) There is also good research to suggest regular exercise helps to stimulate the 'feel good' chemicals in the brain. If you're looking for relief from how you're feeling outside of a pill, consider moving your body either through exercise, or a guided Yoga practice.

Let me know what you think.

Until then, take care, and stay safe.

Tashina,
http://www.psychologicalhealingandyoga.com

yeah I hear exercise can help cause of the endorphins. yoga sounds like it could help but I don't imagine I'll be doing it any time soon. You may be onto something though. I don't do any exercise whatsoever so I might start going to the gym.
I feel a bit better since I last posted anyway. Suicidal thoughts have gone away for a while, and I've been able to do a bit of work.
Thanks for the info

Thanks for getting back to me. Glad to hear the suicidal thoughts have recently lifted. The gym sounds like a great idea! That would do it, get the endorphins going that is. And you know, some video stores have Yoga videos they rent out, sometimes for a very nominal fee. Yogamind&body is good, its slow, it beautifully shot, and there's even a buff looking dude in it too!

Take care,
Tashina

Murderface, I'm glad to hear that you're feeling a bit better now!