So alone.

I just recently had to move back to Michigan to my parents house. (I was living in TN with a friend) . I'm having a really hard time dealing with/accepting the change. I have no friends here, no job, nothing. My parents are constantly fighting and arguing and my depression just keeps getting worse and worse everyday. I have nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to. I stay in bed most of the day, have been taking my Ambien and Seroquel not only at night like I'm supposed to but during the day as well. I know this isn't good for me but I don't care. I have nothing to do, no motivation, no one to talk to. I can't concentrate on anything, am constantly anxious/on edge, and am having suicidal thoughts almost everyday. I don't know what else to do, it seems like this is the only thing I have to left to do. But something inside me is keeping me going, I don't know what...

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I am looking for some support, some people to talk to/relate to. I know I can't do this on my own and feel I owe it to myself to at least make one last attempt at getting help.

((((((((((((((xtragicallyme)))))))))))))) I'm sorry you're going through this. Do you have a job? Do you think you could look for one? Try to get out of the house a bit and get a little exercise, at least, you can't stay in this state.
I remember feeling like there was no way out and I had no motivation to do anything, but things are better now. My parents used to fight a lot and blame me and there was no one I could turn to, but I am stronger now.
You have to hang in there and do what is good for you. You will get out of there at some point and you have your entire life to look forward to.

No, no job at the moment.
I discussed work with my PO last week but he doesn't really want me out there working until I'm more stable.
I exercize a little bit here in the house (treadmil, toning, etc) and I'd like to be able to get outside and walk but my anxiety limits me. I know it's not a big deal, just going for a walk but that's how bad it's gotten. I can't do anything.
I have an appt on the 21st with a Community Mental Health Clinic. I'm thinking maybe my meds need to be changed or upped or something...and I'm hoping to get back in to therapy but it just...I don't know...seems hopeless. It's like no matter what they do they can't get it right. Can't get me right.

Other people here have felt like the therapists would never get it right and the meds weren't helping, but it got better after a while. You have to keep trying. Could you ask someone to go for a little walk with you? You don't have to do anything that you're not comfortable with. It isn't hopeless and you are going to be ok.

Your parents argue and they know you have a mental illness? That sounds really selfish. My parents argued all the time at one point. They would do it right in front of you. Idiots. One day I shouted at both of them and they never argued again.

If you are on medication and it isn't working then the answer is to talk to your doctor.

i want to send sympathy and empathy for the times you re going through.
i am sure you ll get better with the help of therapy and friends.
try to make friends. even through internet. it can be a great help.
we're here so you can talk to us if you feel like !
kill those bad thoughts. life can be so nice. the good moments are out there waiting for you to live them!!!!!!!!!