After some pondering...

I've realized my depression stems from me not following my heart's desire, and the main impediment is the computer. I waste way too much time on the computer when I could be doing so much more. It has become an addiction. I do nothing but listen to music and browse the internet. I took the initiate as a first step and stopped joining forums and chatrooms as they would ignore me - and not only that, it triggered me and induced depression again. I feel I want to abandon the computer for a week to see if it can help me.

I used to be greatly involved in esotericism and the arts, until I focused on the computer (mainly because my music is present here). I feel starting next week I want to abandon this machine as I feel it's a tool used by the cosmos to keep me derelict from my path.

It even makes me very nostalgic - sometimes I loathe technology and wish to live back a hundred years where I could ride a horse to the forest and meet someone like me... and then we can wonder about in the forest together and have adventures.

I am utterly discontent with this machine I waste my life with, only to depress me. The hardest part is letting go my music, or else socializing has never been a problem with me, since I couldn't keep an online friend for more than a week max. And when I mean socializing is not a "problem" for me, I mean to say the loneliness often soothes me rather than having to socialize with the outside world which pesters me even more - not that I have an easy time socializing.


EDIT: Oh wait, I almost forgot! My school involves the use of this computer! Well, I guess I will wait to finish this coarse first.


/-\_/-\

Hi,

I don't think that you should abandon the computer completely. Rather, you should simply restrict the amount of time that you use it. For example, I generally only use the Internet in the evenings. During the day, I always try to find something else to do, such as reading, doing crosswords, jogging, etc. Seriously though, don't just go 'cold turkey' with the computer. Set some time aside each day with which you can use it.

Kevin