feeling unwanted

i try not to talk about him too much as it can get very upsetting quick.i cant blame him but all my issues right now stem from him cuz his mother wants to sit on her ass and do nothing but use her 2 kids as paychecks every week.she told the courts a bunch of lies thinking that i couldnt disprove any of it so she could gfet as much money as possible for child support and to keep me from haveing anything to do with him.i know alot of people wont/dont agree with the way i want to handle it.but that aint no reason to treat me like a common piece of trash.in my mind it is the best thing to do for me and him.i could care less about his mother.after all ive done for her,this is the thanx i get?i payed off around $15,000.00 in credit debt from her previous marriage.she had a son that died a month after he was born.the kid was burried for 10 years with no headstone.i promised her that i would get him a stone when i could afford it.took me a while but i had the money in the bank and handed her a signed blank check and told her to go get a stone.she asked how much she could spend.i told her the check is blank,theres 200,000 dollars in the bank,spend as much as you want.every time she wanted a different car i went out and bought it for her.she had 20 different cars over the 8 years we were together.and even while the relationship was ending i bought her a truck cuz she said she wanted one.and i wont even mention what i spent on her daughter that wasnt even my kid.but i made sure she had all the best clothes for school,the newest toys and i never got any respect or love from the kid.never even got a thank you.

i thought haveing kids was supposed to be a great thing.i now see that its a huge mistake.whether i am the father or not there will never be another kid coming from me.i even considering a vasectomy.i dont want any kids whether they are mine or not.wont have another girl with kids either.

Having kids IS a great thing, but not if it is with the wrong person. She doesn't sound like a good role model, but I'm only basing that on what you've told me about her. Why, oh why, did you give her so much money though?; even after she showed you no respect? I am effectively a miser, and I give money to nobody. So, I guess it's hard for me to ever imagine giving anyone a blank cheque, not even to my mother or father. I don't trust anyone with money.

Kevin

well the bipolar part helps me to piss away any money i get.i loved her and did anything i could to show her that and make her happy.but as i have seen the love was not returned.i wanted to make sure she got the headstone that she wanted.it actually pissed me off when she said she only spent 200 dollars on it.i told her to get whatever she wanted and not to worry about the price.i gave her the check and told i didnt care if it was 5,000.00 as long as it was exactly what she wanted.she said she only spent 200 cuz she was worried id be mad if she spent more,the check was signed so she could put any amount on it.like i said im too stupid to take care of myself.i worry about everybody but me.

I don't know her, Rich, but the measly sum of money she spent on the headstone could be a sign that it never really meant much to her to get a headstone in the first place. I mean, if she really wanted to get one, I'm sure she would have gathered the funds long before you arrived on the scene with your cash.

ya i dunno why i gave her anything.all i wanted to do was try be as nice as i could and keep her happy.maybe i shouldve treated her like $#%^ and beat the snot out of her everyday.seems like thats what women want now.her new guy dont let her do anything and is just nasty to her and now theyre getting married a year after they met.

Well, we cannot be too nice (because then people will take advantage of us), but we can't be too hard either (because then we would be breaking the law). It would be best then to simply cut-out from our lives people who aren't worth anything to us. I feel quite silly at times giving you advice because I've never been in your situation before. I'm not sure I really understand what you're going through, and how you'll get out of it. You make it seem like a dead-end, but you're still fighting on (and I think that's admirable).

Kevin

ya well i havent recieved anything from the courts yet.i called and left a message for a lady at the court house.so a probation officer calls me back today.he seems to want to help but he has the same last name as the lawyer that screwed me.i was also tgold that he is the lawyers nephew.thats just great!!

then i call to make an appointment with my psych doctors only to find out that my insuranced was cancelled.

everytime i turn around theres something waiting to kick me in the balls

You do know that if I lived where you are, I would happily help you more than I currently am [trying to]?

i thank you for that.i think my doctor and friend had the right idea when they suggested i try smokeing weed.im stoned out of mind right now and im sitting here like ###$ it,ill deal with it later while im laughing my ass off watching my buddies dog act like a retard!im not hurting anything,anybody or myself so its good.ill be passing out for the night soon and most likely sleep good finaly.

Get a good sleep Rich? I usually give-out to people for smoking weed and doing other drugs but, in your case, I don't give a damn. You've been through enough and you deserve a little lee-way. Keep staying with me here - You're a good guy.