Why my daughter is main cause of my depression

It has been a while since I landed up in hospital due to not coping with my daughter's anger and her suffering with Asperger syndrome.

Why should I take the abuse from her? The screaming from her, and the swearing. The back chatting and constant defying of authority.

Some people do not understand what I am going through, as to them my daughter seems so nice and normal, but do not see the monster that I gave birth to. The monster that became worst and uncontrollable in the past 2 years.

This is not just happening once a week or twice this is happening on a 24 hour basis, 7 days a week and 30 days a month.

Sending her to a psychologist or psychiatrist and counselors for sessions as well for me, seems so fruitless, it actually seems to be worsening!

The constant F##k Y! from her towards me is getting out of hand and is bringing me self esteem down, and depression is kicking in very much so!

It seems I cannot go without a day with not drinking anti-depressants nor sleeping tablets just to cope.

As a single mother I do not have a lost of support, neither from the children's father nor from my parents, as they have given up on the situation, and let me deal with the pain and agony of being abused by my daughter.

Hey,

I will be replying to you from an unusual perspective: I have Asperger's Syndrome and I used to also curse at my mother, shout at her, and attempt to control what she does. I am 25 now though, and have a much better relationship with her - I now regard her as my friend.

I eventually changed by taking medication (specifically, one called Lexapro). It helped 'take away' all of my anger and I eventually decided to make peace with my mother. I accepted that I was being so very very cruel to her.

Anyway, your daughter is not angry for no reason. She is most likely angry because she is unhappy in her life, and you just happen to be the person that she takes her anger out on. Having Asperger's Syndrome is difficult - each day is a struggle, even now, for me, at 25 years of age. That is no excuse for her behaviour, but it might give you an insight as to why she is so angry.

So, is she currently on any medication? One positive that I think you can take is that she has actually gone to the doctors - other people just wouldn't bother doing it.

Kevin

Dear Kevin,

Thanks for the reply on my post.

My daughter is on medication at the moment, it has just worsen in the past month as the psychologist has changed her normal medication (Risperdal) to new ones, but it seems it has the opposite effect, driving her to be more violent.

There are times where my daughter is very sweet, but that is in such short times that you can hardly notice until she has another "blow-out"

I will have a mention to the psychiatrist the name of the medication and see if this is available in South Africa.

What makes it even more difficult is that we are not residing in a city where the medical practitioners are scarce.

Hey,

You are actually the third person in one week to mention Risperdal as being negative on this website. One of the other people was one who's hair was falling out because of it, apparently.

Lexapro is a relatively modern drug and it takes time to work. If your daughter manages to get it, she must not expect immediate results from it. The effects that i can bring can take weeks or even months.

What makes it even more difficult is that we are not residing in a city where the medical practitioners are scarce.

This sentence is a bit like a double-negative. Are you saying that there are or aren't lots of practitioners near you?

Take care,
Kevin