Treatment Resistant Depression / PTSD

So before I get into all of this, I'll get some things out of the way. I started this PsychForums and sold it because there were some threats made against me by some of the members and it was getting too stressful. I've stayed away for a long time but I've decided that I deserve support too so screw those that threatened me. I no longer own this website. I sold it in 2015. I have NOTHING to do with running this site, I'm not even a Moderator and I don't want to be. The company I sold it to is able to distance themself against those threats and keep their staff safe, which makes me incredibly happy.

So, now that I'm done.

I've been dealing with Depression all my life, mostly driven by my PTSD, which was undiagnosed until 1998. I was SA in Kindergarten by a volunteer at the school and each year during the back to school season and again during the Holidays I deal with Anniversaries of significant abuse. Medication isn't effective. Therapy isn't as effective as it used to be because I've processed as much of the trauma as I can and the Depression is still there. I'm not willing to undergo ECT because I've had a Stroke and I have Seizures. I also have Memory Loss as a result of the Stroke (and the Seizures) and I don't want to add to that, which the ECT would do.

My Insurance won't pay for TMS or other treatments which might offer some relief. I'm reaching a point of giving up. Every day is a struggle to wake up at this point. I'm only holding on because of my wife.

It was actually around 22009 or 2010 that I sold the site, my wife reminded me that it was a few years before we got Married. My memory isn't what it used to be after my Stroke and Heart Attack. I know that Mental Health Matters was sold in 2018 and they weren't able to deal with keeping the site updated and wound up turning it into a page that forwarded to their therapy practice after about 18 months.

Welcome back. Everyone's safety is important here & we've closed a couple of sub-forums that were too difficult to manage (AsPD & Para). We are always open to suggestions on how to make PF work better for you.

As I read your topic title, I immediately thought of electro-shock therapy. After reading your opening post, I see that ECT is probably not a good option.

I suffered a stroke myself about 4 years ago. Some things have come back, some haven't. I'm alive & grateful for what I do have. It was a very sudden & unexpected retirement.

I take Zoloft to stop my mind from ruminating & quiet the ear-worm music (I can't stand that stupid song anyways).
Physically, I'm limited, but I still do what I can. I try to stay positive by applying the 12-steps again in my life to my current situation.
I've changed (according to other people) for the better. I'm kinder. I'm not so uptight about money (but it does come to the surface once in a while). I like to tinker on a workbench & do crosswords to relax. I have had my driving privileges restored, but I don't drive much. I still have oculomotor & orientation issues.
My care team works with me & I work with them. I make sure that they all know about what the other team-members have planned for me in the way of treatments. Things just work smoother when everybody's on the same page.

Speak with your team. Consider your options. If the depression is drug-resistant & ECT is off the table because of other complicating factors, then TMS might become 'medically-necessary'. Have your team make the case to insurers in every way possible.
https://karmadocs.com/the-cost-of-tms-w ... ete-guide/

The very best of luck & blessings to you.

My only suggestion is to never open those two forums again. When I started this, I tried to give everyone a voice. By the time I realized that was a mistake, I was getting a variety of threats both online and in the mail.

Glad to hear you're recovering, and things are continuing to improve. I'm continuing to improve as well, but have learned to accept that some things will never come back all the way.

I'm lucky in that all my care team is through one organization with the exception of my Opthalmologist, so they all have access to my care notes and I am able to coordinate through my Primary Care Doc. I'm starting to drive again, but only on the good days. My seizures are mostly controlled and are part of my Hemiplegic Migraines, so I don't drive at all on days when I have Migraines.

I'm trying to get back to where I can either go back to school to finish my Bachelor's or go back to work. I'm just tired of sitting at home.

Anyway, back to the point... TMS was likely Medically Necessary at the time I first applied, but the joy of Medicaid is that they are so damn tight that I doubt they will ever honor something that costs them money when just packing me with more pills that don't work is cheaper. I don't want to go through 4 rounds of pills that don't work just to prove them wrong.

So here we are, and here we'll stay.

I would say glad to see you, Sean! But, well, mental health forums. Meaning it's good to see you here, wish you weren't struggling (thus feeling the need to be here). But glad you came here.

seanetal wrote:'m only holding on because of my wife.

Wife is good. Remember wife!

When I feel like giving up, I remember those for whom not holding on would be cruel to them.

I hope you can get back into school/work. I am not.. I'm not seriously depressed, but I am chronically depressed- no formal Dx but every time I take a questionnaire online the results are like 'please don't hurt yourself'.

Meh.

I do know I went through a two-year period between jobs where I absolutely became a vegetable and had no motivation to do anything, it was terrible. I'd love to retire (can't at the moment) but I've already come to an understanding with myself that I will have to be my own boss and work for myself and do things, because sitting around really is not good for me or my mental state. Even if I don't want to do things, I need to do things. I think that's so important for peoples' mental health, to do as much as can be done and also to be around other people. My mind goes into weirder places than I'd like to, when I'm too alone.

seanetal wrote:My only suggestion is to never open those two forums again

Look for a PM...

seanetal wrote: I've stayed away for a long time but I've decided that I deserve support too so screw those that threatened me. I no longer own this website. I sold it in 2015. I have NOTHING to do with running this site, I'm not even a Moderator and I don't want to be.

Yes, you do deserve support. And for those who think otherwise, I would suggest not giving sean a hard time. This is the only warning, malicious behavior won't be tolerated for an instant.