why

why do people keep making me miserable on purpose? both strangers on the internet and the ones close to me always hurt me for no reason whatsoever, feels great. this is literally one of the main reasons my depression has worsened, i literally cant escape it no matter what i do. therapy barely helps, and my own mother doesnt want me to have anti depressants. what do i even do at this point? im so numb.

sorry for rambling.

hello, sorry for not responding earlier. she doesn't want me to take them because she thinks i self harm because of them, which is absolutely nonsensical in my opinion.