New here and not know what to do HELP!!!!

I am new to the forum here.

I have depression but I am a typical man and push it down and ignore it my helping my wife make her life better. Well in do that for 9 and a half years I have had a couple very small break downs, But on just this past Thursday I had a big one and my wife and I txt back all day at work an I was telling her for the first half of the day that she needs to find a better man because I don’t treat her right (more on that in my other post http://psychforums.com/viewtopic.php?t=22081 ) The second half of the day was me telling her that I need help and I need some of that help to come from her. I have already setup a appointment with a therapist for next Saturday and this is the second thing that I want to talk to him about, the first being the link above. But I want to try and get help form people that are going thru the same things that I am.

Here are my depression issues:

I feel like crap about how I treat my wife

I have the things that I do to myself (I am a ex speed addict and I have problems with picking at my self and have small scars on my body from it)

I think that I am very unattractive, I have not had a women flirt in even the slightest bit in over 9 years. Before my wife I had only kissed 1 girl at the age of 16 just before I met my wife. We were apart for a bit over a year because my mom shipped me to family in another state to get me away from drugs (and as we all know that does not ever work) but I did become a better person up there and have cleaned my self up a lot. I had 1 girlfriend up there. So in my whole 27 years I have had 2 girlfriends and I pressured both of them. So I don’t think very highly of myself.

I hate the way my naked body looks, I have no tone to it and feel more like I have a 13 year old body then a 27 year old man.

I am a father and I wonder if I do the right things with my kids and if I am going to screw up there lives.

Those are the main issues that I have and need to work out.

How did the therapist go? I'm assuming that you went yesterday, right? If I had read this a week earlier than now (i.e. on the day you made your post) all I would have said is for you to hold everything until you see therapist. So, I hope it was beneficial.

What else can I say but that you are being too hard on yourself. You're self-esteem must be low but you already know why. So, again, I think that a therapist is the person that can help change these views.


TAke care,
Kevin.