I can't keep friends

I've never been good at keeping friends. I attract a lot of people for how friendly and upbeat I always try to be. Many get eager to be my friend because I'm so much fun on the surface, but when they actually get to know me and realize I struggle with a lot issues, then it's "... oh." They don't usually stick around for long. It 's not like I'm such a downer that my problems are all I talk about. Most of them I don't even tell I have clinical depression and anxiety. But I can only act like I'm always fine for so long and then they sort of just figure out that I'm actually not that much fun to have as a friend. Part of me blames myself for inadvertently fooling people into believing that I'm this cheery person all the time. Then again, people just suck. I just wish I could hold on to friends instead of always losing more than I gain.

not sure if ur still looking for replies.
but i cant be cheerful eve for a day. i have very few online friends. and they know of my depression.

it get too tiring to maintain a facade. i avoid situations where i'm supposed to be cheerful.

Yeah something I learned being around people too. Things get to heavy they go. Good friends will stay, but they can be hard to find.

If you want keep friends my best advice is to hide the depressive side from your friends... at least until you can trust them and they become close friends you can trust that way you won't get hurt.

Just my advice from my own personal experience dealing with Depression all my life.

Same. they all hate me.

-- Fri Aug 26, 2022 8:21 pm --

Probably for good reason...

I'm too *sensitive*.

it's a dance, in my opinion. They have to be the right sort of folks that aren't just 'good time' people. But also we have to be reasonably personable. It is the grease of social interaction. I have to try and not be so damned blunt- which is difficult for me. Also I tend to be personally selfish- I mean I have to remember to be there for others when they need a friend.

And also I have to try to keep more than just a little of my whinging to myself. I use PF for whinging

I've never been one to have many friends, but I'm also the kind of person that doesn't seem to need many- at least not in the flesh and blood. Online I'm more sensitive to that kind of thing and will glom onto others in a way I don't in the flesh world. Perhaps because I wear a mask in everyday life, I don't know. Meh.