Son is acting sad

Thanks everyone,
My 22 year old son, over the last 8 months has totally turned directions. His mother left when he was 7 years old, and has been raised by me and my family. He is a good kid, never in trouble, college degree, and has spent the last 17 years racing full time, and has won championships in every division he competes in. He has had the same girlfriend for 5 years and she is a really nice girl from a nice hard working family, and they support everything he does. But now, he dosent hardly talk to anyone, at work or at home. And last week, called me and said he was moving away and stopping racing. The car is sitting and he has no interest at all. The thing that bothers me is that he never smiles, never talks, and everyone around him has call and asked me why he is so sad. I have asked him what is wrong, and he says nothing, and when I asked his girlfriend, she said that there is nothing wrong with him. Any ideas? Thanks!

Hi,

His girlfriend also says there is nothing wrong? - Then maybe his problem is only being kept between the two of them; because she, of all people, would know if there is something wrong. As regards his actual problem, it could be that he has just become tired of living in the same area and wishes to travel around a bit. Many people are like this. I am 24 now and have been itching to leave this country for many years now.

People do not have to hold the same interests forever either. I mean, if you spend long enough at something, it gets boring, right?


What I have said above IS a possibility. However, from what you have told us, his symptoms do also point to depression - specifically the detraction from his friends and the lack of interest in the cars.



I've given you the two sides to the coin here. Really, you need to talk to him yourself and express your worry.


Kevin.

I'm of the same age as your son

I've had troubles with depression for years, and it's possible that a chemical imbalance in his brain is causing him to act this way. Such depression can seem to come about for no reason, and cause people to act very differently than they normally do. Worst of all it likely won't fix itself, or at least it will be a long time before it does. It does sound like he's confided how he really feels to his girlfriend, if you and everyone else all notice that he acts so sad and she says there's nothing wrong she's likely saying what he wants her to as to protect him. Men our age aren't very comfortable talking about our feelings, I know that over the years whenever a friend or family member tried to talk to me about my depression I've always tried to cover it up, not matter how obvious it might seem it's likely he will always try to make it seem as nothing is bothering him, he might feel weak for feeling depressed. Or it could be that there is an issue between him and his girlfriend, which is why she would be in on it, but that's pure speculation so don't take that too seriously

All I can advise is to repeatedly approach him about it, but don't do it forcefully or suddenly. Be warm and loving, and make sure he knows you care about him and want to help him with whatever is bothering him. But if he gets offended or upset and still doesn't want to discuss it, don't press it, it won't help

These are just suggestions, and you know your son much better than I, so everything I say must be taken with a large grain of proverbial salt. But speaking from experience this is how I would go about it. I hope you're able to figure out what's bothering him, though if he's become clinically depressed than it's possible nothing in particular is, he's simply become disillusioned with life, overcome with feelings he may think he has no reason to be feeling. I know I've felt that way before, and it makes me feel guilty when it happens, which is how he might feel