mindnumbingly de-motivated

as always, i'm not sure which forum this belongs in, so ask me to move it if there's a better place for it, however...

i wouldn't exactly say i'm depressed (having experienced definitely being depressed in the past...) in fact i don't seem to be able to feel anything at all anymore. i think this has been going on since i tried acid in april. it changed me abruptly. my intensity of feeling, ambition, excitement, desperation, everything is just completely gone. i feel tired when i socialise. i don't particularly want to die, i don't feel sad and broken, nor do i feel happy, i just don't care at all about anything. it's like there's this hole in my head that's just growing and growing. i'm sure it's got something to do with the drugs i've tried, but i've hardly touched them, really, just sampled a few last year and my brain seems to be permanently damaged since. i can't feel anything. i feel old. i'm 20, i shouldn't feel old, should i?
also, i was on zoloft for awhile because i was severely depressed before that... at the time it was necessary, but it's probably contributed to this total apathy.

how can i feel again?

emptyvessel,

Sometimes we disconnect emotionally. I have this problem too.
I found the easiest way: is to do something that you really enjoyed as a child. I rollerskate, I had to go back to when I was a child, and list things I had fun. All I have to do is see my skates and I start smiling.

You could go through a life changing experience, something that you have never done before. I found when I flew on a plane I felt very lucky to be back on the ground.

If you think that it was something, triggered your emotional disconnect, therapy is a good way to get a "check" and see what is going on.
Hope this helps somehow.