Depression and Misanthropy / Well-motivated?

Hi everyone,

I'm new here and I didn't see a Presentation section, so I'll just go ahead with this topic.
I am a man in my early thirties, got a PhD which contributed to my depression together with a very difficult family history, I am currently starting to work as a teaching assistant in schools, and at present I have ups and downs.
The reason I am writing here now is that I am struggling with the strong anger, sometimes bordering on hate, towards so many people in my life, since I seem to keep constantly meeting people who make my situation worse.
I have had to emigrate because my home country did not offer any prospects for someone with my academic curriculum. I had to go away as soon as possible, and I have to stay away, because I have abusive, lying and unreliable family member whom I cannot trust and who cannot be the material nor the emotional presence I need.
I am now distant from most of my closest friend, both from before my PhD and the ones I met during my PhD, because they are all abroad.
Recently I have lost my chances to get into teacher training this academic year, after several years of delays due to my mental condition. This has happened because my former PhD supervisor is notoriously unreliable and submitted her mandatory reference with a 2-months delay.
Currently I live with an unbearable housemate, who is extremely narcissistic and disorderly, and who constantly tries to shift blames on me for everything that happens in the house (leaking pipes, malfunctioning appliances, his own disorder), who never willingly reciprocates the constant favours he asks for, and who is extremely needy and always wants to have people around but treats them like cr+p. He is also very intrusive, to the point of walking into bedrooms and bathrooms whenever he feels he needs to do so for whateve reason. I had to have another fight with him today because he things a broken door handle is my responsibility to fix, but would not accept my feedback on what is or is not working. As I am trying to be more firm, I have to be quite nasty with this guy and this is ultimately unpleasant for everyone.
I know this latter point sounds petty, but really he is an unbearable housemate who has already caused at least 3 former housemates to move out, and who has basically lost all of his friends because of his weird character. Luckily now he's moving out because he got his own place.

I am saying all of this to illustrate my problem: I have been repeatedly betrayed, disappointed, hindered in my personal and professional efforts by basically every single person in my life (and I did omit the betrayals and unreliability of my girlfriend during my PhD years). Even when I decided that I was going to just focus on myself and let myself have fun, I got into un unbearable living situation with a narcissistic intrusive person, and stuck by a pandemic!

I have mostly overcome my former hatred for my difficult life and a universe that seems to hinder even the most basic attempts at a decent life. I can take the partial randomness of things. I find some kind of spiritual consolation and even motivation in a form of pantheism.
But the constant disappointment towards people, with their pettiness and selfishness and outright disregard of consequences and other people out of either stupidity or unreliability, all of this really disturbs me.

It's easy to be diagnosed as depressed. But what if this is just a very normal reaction to constant, repeated circumstances of physical, emotional, and even moral distress? I mean, I find it so hard to have to constantly struggle with absolutely everything and everyone!
I just wish there were a kind of emotional "nest" where I can retreat, and recharge my energies while relying one someone else's support every once in a while, when I'm hurt and weakened.
But I am denied that. And the more I try, the more this gets denied.
I may have found a more generic existential consolation, but I have been unable to get any human consolation no matter how hard I tried. And it really leaves me empty inside.

I basically just hate how stupid and selfish people are. Sorry if this sounds angsty.
It's no consolation knowing, rationally, that not everyone is. The fact is that I have tried too many times now. My energies are dried out, my willingness to keep risking it is almost gone. I want to be good with people, and I want this goodness to lead somewhere nice for all people involved, but it really does not seem to work that way / if you act kindly, you get crushed, if you react all the time, you feel sour and drained.

So why should one keep playing russian roulette when at every new failed attempt the damage piles up?
Is there any alternative to fill up this void?