Do you ever want to let go?

Do you ever wish you had the - I can't even think of the word... Strength? Audacity? ...to let go control of your life and just let it go to pot? Stop going to work, stop worrying about how your going to pay your bills, stop worrying about collectors who are most likely going to take you to court, stop worrying about all the money you spend in the blink of an eye, stop worrying about the family who worries about you, stop worrying about the friends you may lose...and just sleep every day, all day, forever? Do you ever wonder how good it would feel to not care anymore? It's my responsibilty to make sure my life is in order, but absolutely everything is out of my control. It is burying me alive. I want to end it and start over. Do you ever feel this way?

Simply put, my answer to your overall question is a resounding 'YES'. I dream of such things everyday and it is actually scary how much work we have to do each day to simply maintain our life: bathe; eat; go to work; be courteous; answer phones; make the bus and tram on time; etc; etc.

... ...it is horrific; the amount of things we must do. I would also like to restart my life with the brain I have now but that won't happen.

I think this is why computer games appeal to people. In them, they are free and - usually - the more life-like the game, the better it appeals to people. Look at Grand Theft Auto??? ... ...and Zelda? You're free to roam around in them and those are two of the most popular games of all time.


You can 'let go' to some degree, however. You can let go of the things that stress you out and that you don't actually need. I'm talking about 'friends' who only serve to bring you down, or that #######5 job that you hate and could easily change.


Kevin.

I absolutely do. Sometimes I wish I didn't love my family so much. The thought of what it would do to them has stopped me from killing myself a few times. It's pretty ###$ up but I wish I was selfish enough to do it.

CriminallyVulgar wrote:I absolutely do. Sometimes I wish I didn't love my family so much. The thought of what it would do to them has stopped me from killing myself a few times. It's pretty ###$ up but I wish I was selfish enough to do it.

I can absolutely, assuredly say without a doubt that I would not be here if it weren't for my mother. It would completely kill her if I killed myself. She told me she would not ever be able to function again if she lost me. I wish, too, that I was selfish enough to kill myself. Not that people who committ suicide are selfish, but it is an act that causes irreparable damage to people who love you, and I just can't do that.

yes.

beautifullightz wrote:

CriminallyVulgar wrote:I absolutely do. Sometimes I wish I didn't love my family so much. The thought of what it would do to them has stopped me from killing myself a few times. It's pretty ###$ up but I wish I was selfish enough to do it.

I can absolutely, assuredly say without a doubt that I would not be here if it weren't for my mother. It would completely kill her if I killed myself. She told me she would not ever be able to function again if she lost me. I wish, too, that I was selfish enough to kill myself. Not that people who committ suicide are selfish, but it is an act that causes irreparable damage to people who love you, and I just can't do that.

Kind of unfair isn't it...

I have thought about it but I have to think about my responsibilities to my family and what will happen to us if I ever stopped working or caring.

I live like that more than 3 years, dont go to work, dont answer the phone, dont go anywhere, except to pay for internet or buy new keyboard. Eather laying in bed or staring at monitor.
My boyfriend ditched me cause I didnt wanna mary and have kids,
my only friend ditched me few days ago, officialy, months ago infact
Been on prozac for a year or so, didnt like it so I threw it
Shrink was nagging me to find a job, now I see she was right, better any job than this.
In the meantime, got some phobias (as a result of untreated ptsd)
Now I dont even have a name for curent condition, numb as wood, at the same time extremely nervous and anxious.
:/

This is an interesting topic. There are so many interesting observations on life that pop up on this forum.

I have felt the way others do at times. However, I have a strong recovery network in place that has helped me. For many years, I've had my finances under good control. All bills, including credit cards are paid off on time. I seldom pay much interest on anything I buy. Like most Americans, my house, garage, shed, and cars are full of stuff. My yard is full of fresh vegetables and beautiful flowers. The strange thing is that I would just like to let go. I have a lot to worry about. I have too many options--almost all good. What movie to watch, what book to read, what person to call, what social engagement to go to, what music concert to attend, etc. My possessions require almost endless care. Things need to be washed, waxed, lubucated, repaired, sharpened, etc.

I used to blame the world, but I'm in charge of my life. I yearn for the days of having nothing to do. The days I could just sit someplace for hours and not have nothing that has to be done. Being an alcoholic, I could drown myself in booze--that would give me free time, but it would also bring some really bad consequences.

Thanks for the topic,
Jim S

Chucky wrote:Simply put, my answer to your overall question is a resounding 'YES'. I dream of such things everyday and it is actually scary how much work we have to do each day to simply maintain our life: bathe; eat; go to work; be courteous; answer phones; make the bus and tram on time; etc; etc.

... ...it is horrific; the amount of things we must do. I would also like to restart my life with the brain I have now but that won't happen.

I think this is why computer games appeal to people. In them, they are free and - usually - the more life-like the game, the better it appeals to people. Look at Grand Theft Auto??? ... ...and Zelda? You're free to roam around in them and those are two of the most popular games of all time.


You can 'let go' to some degree, however. You can let go of the things that stress you out and that you don't actually need. I'm talking about 'friends' who only serve to bring you down, or that #######5 job that you hate and could easily change.


Kevin.

kevin,

I agree about all that we have to do each day just functioning and takeing care of business. I have rid myself of all things that bring me "down". But my ptsd has caused so many problems, my psych told me not to think about work for at least a year.

hello? what am I supposed to do for funds. I am way to young to consider anything else.

The video games are a good point kev, it is an easy way to divert your attention.
I think this is the first generation that is completely cyber.
We have had a pc since 94-95, my child does not know life with out a pc in the house.

I can not answer yes or no. If it meant not having my child : NO
If I could start over and still have my marriage and child: YES

I agree great topic!