getting "treatment" for depression without psychiatric med

i was wondering how is one supposed to improve or help their condition, in this case, i have major depression, which has been chronically affecting me for many many years, i can't really put a finger on when it "Started" ( not because i can't give reasons to it ) but because it seems like i have had it most of my life or since possibly early puberty ( long story ). i am 25 years old now.

i wanted to just point something out that really pissed me off because i felt like the source was invalid and flat out wrong, but from what i read from several sources, they will say that a general statement like psychiatric drugs do more harm than good and are only useful or should be used for the most severe cases, but as someone who has severe depression myself, i do not agree with this at all.

if anything, it should be the opposite, because someone with severe "depression" is unlikely to be helped by a simple medication, they need much more conscious assistant and help in various aspects, i am not talking about someone who is literally in the midst of attempting suicide or can barely move, although i do feel like that at times, it's complex.

all im saying is that there needs to be better understanding on solutions, treatment, and explanations, and unfortunately, for me, i've felt like a "missing link" in all this, seeing different psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists, doctors, left and right, unnecessarily put myself out there and played the innocent open role of whatever, i'll take psychiatric medication, only to end up worse before and after taking them.

not to mention that my diagnosis's seem to be unclear, although modality doesn't seem to matter when you have depression, at least in my case, there are a "few" things i would want to do to improve my life to the capacity i have, but even with those, it's painfully difficult and / or i just feel biologically and psychologically handicapped, and people don't seem to understand that, and when i try to explain certain things from various areas ( when i talk to therapists mostly ), they just interpret everything i say in a black and white way or they will only give answers back in a way that instinctive but not necessarily valid, i'm not sure if people would get that.

anyways, my point is that i really don't know what to do, i can't afford homeopathy / neuropathy appointments with a doctor to even find out if it can be useful and i do not see any point going back to a psychiatrist to tell them, i am not gonna take one of those damn pills and suffer in more #######4 that i already, so please, can you give me perhaps a prescription to a homoepathic or nueropathic solution instead, and of course they will be like, no, we can't do that.

i also have schizotypal personality disorder and i relate to the condition sluggish cognitive tempo or also called concentration deficit disorder, i related to those two things ever since early puberty. what pissses me off too is all the people on youtube and the forums that talk about it, arent people that really have it, and are really people with a subtype of ADHD, subtype meaning part of the same disorder of ADHD.

Russell Barkley himself conducted research on actual "Sct" people, and found that like 90 percent of them did not respond well to stimulants, that it more or did nothing useful for them, although he said it doesn't harm them, in my case, when i took most of any type of stimulants like vyvanse or ritalin, they did nothing positive for me other than making me more depressed, stressed and anxious, and further lowered my immune system, so barkley's statement of they don't harm "them", i would say is false, because they do harm "me".

Oddly enough, most of these youtube / forum people claiming they have sct actually said they did better on stimulants, despite Barkley's actual studies showing the opposite.

i do not have much of hope for anything, i struggle financially, i have chronic back pain, weak back and spine and other physical problems, and NO! they are not random at ALL! a previous doctor has asked if it was random. they have a logical a long explanation, the least of which is lack of exercises / stretching for a very long time, combined with poor lifestyle, coping, environment issues, etc.

i have tried some herbal stuff like st. johns wort and rhodiola, i felt like either they were too strong and / or working the wrong areas of my brain / body. rhodiola in my experience was not compatible for my brain chemistry and issues, all it did was make me very stressed, agitated, and did the opposite of what my body needs, my depression is caused by being overworked in the first place and distress and rhodiola does pretty much that, it works on all the wrong areas of my brain, particularly the frontal lobe where as my issues are more felt back of the brain of posterior cortex / hypothalamus?

as a matter of fact, i get on and off brain inflammation, brain squeezing feeling or like it feels like it's gonna explode, usually happens if i use the computer for too much, play video games too much, listen to music too much, or any type of electronic stimulation or even social interactions, also sexual release plays a part, because i have a 24 hour thing where the 12-24 period after i ejaculated i am the most "functional", as in able to barely communicate and get my needs met with things or around others, but around 24 hours or later, the depression takes over, and my face becomes very droopy and hanging, i can barely keep my eyes open, things become very foggy, and i get a gradually increasing brain inflammmation with a constant active and excruciating stress, also if it goes on any longer, perhaps 2 days or more, i can't even eat any meals or if i can eat any food, it might be limited to crackers which i might be able to physically put in my mouth and swallow, and taking ativan does nothing, other than lowering any low grade anxiety i have, but that's not what i really have in this state, it's more of extreme stress and brain inflammation and low on certain biological functions such as probably dopamine and / or serotonin or other things like opiates, who knows?

i have only been able to work once recently with the help of a job helping organization, which is supposed to be meant for pretty much anyone who needs extra help in getting employed, i wasn't able to work for more than like 2 days, the chronic back pain, fatigue physically and emotionally, combined with my untreated depression and job demands were way too much for me, it felt like i worked for a month in just that day or two.

Wow, it sounds like you have really been through so much. I can relate, I know it's hard when there are multiple layers of suffering, especially when one of them is chronic pain and/or illness. [Thyroid and some joint pain have gotten me down, too...and they only make my depression worse. I can sympathize with your back pain, because when my thyroid problems first hit, I had such severe lower back pain that I could barely get up off the couch.]

It's worth looking into getting a full work-up of your hormones through a saliva testing kit online. I know that's not free or cheap, per say, but 100-200 dollars into the kit is a sound investment. Your nutrient and hormone levels could be totally off, and making your depression so much worse. For example, I had incredibly low vitamin D and that caused my lower back pain. B12 and the other B vitamins are important for your wellbeing and neurological health. Cortisol shouldn't be too high, or else you'll be sick in many ways. Etc.

Your extreme pain and fatigue and 'brain inflammation' make me wonder if your thyroid is also involved, too. A severe thyroid problem can make your brain feel like it's in a fog, like your whole body is heavy. If you have Hashi's, you can swing between hypo- and hyperthyroid, low to high energy. Let me forewarn you that most doctors have no idea what the hell they're doing when it comes to hormone testing. Just stick with the kit, and share your results with a thyroid support forum to see what herbal remedies you can use and how you need to change your diet, etc. until you can afford a homeopathic endocrinologist, if your thyroid is out of whack.

It also pays to mention that most of our serotonin is made in the gut. I remember reading a study that even patients with severe schizophrenia showed improvement when placed on a low-carb, moderate protein, and moderate fat diet high in omega 3 fatty acids. Minimal gluten, vegetable oils, and processed sugars/high sugar fruits works well, too. I'm changing my diet now and trying low-carb/a version of Keto and seeing how that works for my mental state. [Unfortunately, you might have some initial mood swings and a flare up of symptoms when you drastically change your diet, but this shouldn't last for more than one or two weeks at most.]

I haven't tried St. Johns Wort, but what was it like for you? I also can't take SSRIs or any kind of medication because a, i became manic on Prozac and paranoid on Wellbutrin and b, I 100% agree that being dependent for life on pills is a bad idea. I've been toying with the idea of going back on something else temporarily, but I saw another shrink and she was super worried about my past reactions to drugs...it's really exhausting having to fight this battle, but at least know you are not alone. I understand.

Hopefully you won't mind me adding this too, but ... it sounds like your condition[s] have really consumed your heart and soul, you've probably poured hours and hours of research or Internet time into figuring this out, and I highly recommend making sure you take time off of yourself and worry because it will make your issues so much worse. Other than playing video games and listening to music, maybe you can start doing some stress-relieving things that lower your brain's energy waves and aren't as stimulating? Like reiki body work, yoga, massage, floating in the pool, or those floating chambers you can go in that feel like you're weightless [sorry, I forget the name].