Down time getting me down

I'm not sure if this is the right forum to post this kind of question on as this is my first post on this site but since I suffer from depression, I thought this might be the right place.

I'm probably as busy as most people with work and family commitments, but I'm struggling with the times I have time to myself. I don't have friends or hobbies. Sleeping is one of my favourite things because for that period of time, it's like I don't exist. Something I've been doing lately is playing an online game where the aim is to be the last survivor in a battle between you and up to 99 other people. My problem is that this activity that is meant to give me some kind of joy and fun stresses me out. I get angry with myself for losing, for not being better at it, for wasting my time on something like this when I know I have other things to get done. It must give me some kind of high or sense of happiness because I keep playing it. I've reinstalled the game 5 times after deleting it out of anger.

What do I do? Do I continue to play the game and try to work through these feelings or is this contest based environment a trigger I should avoid and find an alternative activity?

Stop playing the game. If it's making you unhappy, you don't need it in your life. Another piece of advice- do things. You don't have to do big things like pick up a major hobby if it is too overwhelming for you right now (though that sounds like it could be a long-term goal) just try to do simple things with your time, like go for walks. It'll make you feel better.

I'm not sure how I missed this response, but thanks for the advice

Sleep heals the mind, spirit and body. When I took a sabbatical to work on personal matters that had come to a head, I was told by the doctors to use this time to work on myself.
They convinced me that there was no time like the present to get this done as I may not get a 2nd chance.
This was 30 years ago and they were right. I got some personal matters attended to before re-entering the rat race of work and family. I look back at my time off to heal and do some introspection. I am grateful for the time I had as there would be no way now that I could put life-things on hold to work on myself again.
Best of luck to you.

Wally58 wrote:Sleep heals the mind, spirit and body. When I took a sabbatical to work on personal matters that had come to a head, I was told by the doctors to use this time to work on myself.
They convinced me that there was no time like the present to get this done as I may not get a 2nd chance.
This was 30 years ago and they were right. I got some personal matters attended to before re-entering the rat race of work and family. I look back at my time off to heal and do some introspection. I am grateful for the time I had as there would be no way now that I could put life-things on hold to work on myself again.
Best of luck to you.

thank you Wally58. Out of curiosity, how much time is considered as a sabbatical?

For me it was about 18 months to recover from alcoholism, burnout, panic attacks and depression. I was able to re-enter functionality with a fresh outlook and attitude when I said that I was ready to.
Many people may never get the chance to put things on hold like I did, but I really had no other alternative at the time.
I had a lot of support in doing this. Positive support is very important to have on your side.