obsessive love? danger to self.. and maybe me? Help.

I wasn't sure what part of this Forum to put this.. but Depression seemed like the most logical place...


So I eloped with an old friend (we'll call him Charlie) almost a month ago. That alone is something most people consider insane.. but I'm happy with my decision, and I'll be moving down south with him in about a month. We'll both be attending college. This is probably the best decision I've made for myself in quite awhile, even if it was spur-of-the moment. Most people saw it coming, actually. My parents & friends are all very happy about it. All but one... which brings us to the real issue.

I have a platonic friend from school.. we'll call him Jack. I've always made it abundantly clear that we'd always just be friends, especially after he mentioned once that he liked me more than a friend. He's not the most emotionally stable person, and doesn't have the best support system at home, and I'd listen to him whenever he needed to vent. I was trying to be a friend, y'know? He's the very smart, but overweight & socially awkward type of guy. Introvert, but funny & friendly when you get to know him. The only serious relationship he ever had lasted 8 months, and the girl, we'll call Jill, really messed him up. Cheated, was emotionally abusive, the whole she-bang. That was back in '05. He's still not over it, still literally cries about it. Wishes hateful, awful things upon her and her new beau. He sincerely wishes he could kill her, if he could get away with it, though he said he wouldn't act on it. But when he gets upset, he talks about how unfair it is that Jill gets to be happy while he's alone. Wishes that he could take that away from her. I've tried to explain to him that happiness doesn't depend on others, you have to go out and find things in life that make you happy. No girl's gonna bring HAPPINESS on a plate to him. Of course i know that's all easier said than done... I've suggested he see a therapist/counselor/psychiatrist.. but he refuses.. thinks they won't be able to help at all.. "what's the point?" He's extremely pessimistic about every aspect of life in general. However, he calls himself a realist. I don't know how to help someone like that find hope in anything. I've lost people in my life, and so i'm just happy being able to wake up in the morning. I know that's not the way a lot of people can function. I just know I can't help Jack by myself...

He talks about killing himself often lately. And only to me. He says he tried to last month. Also he says that, 3 days ago, after i told him I got married, he put his father's gun to his head, and, it "felt right." See, after I'd told him I got married, he burst into tears, trembling, hardly able to breathe.. and said he was in love with me. Has been since he met me. Can't bear for me to move away. I'm one of his only friends. He wanted to be with me. I felt so bad, and apologized. I love him only as a friend, and have always made that very, very clear, because I know he's really emotionally needy & sensitive & I never wanted to hurt him or mislead him. I wanted to be a friend, because he doesn't have a lot.

Well, i hung out with him today. Thursday. I told him on Monday about the marriage. He's still a wreck about it. Wants to die. I literally talked to him for hours about it, trying to convince him it's not the answer. I don't know what to do. I'm the only one who he tells this stuff to. He really, really doesn't want me to go. Asks me to stay. with him. I love the kid to death as a friend, but to some degree, aside from being worried about his own welfare & whether or not he'll act on these suicidal ideations, I'm starting to feel a little afriad. For myself. People at college had said in the past that he was kind of obsessed with me, and I just brushed it off, knowing he kind of had a "crush" on me, but I figured he understood we were friends & he always respected that boundary. I just figured people were, you know, not quite getting it, and didn't truly mean "obsessed." But now I'm wondering.. what if he is? Talking with him tonight, there was an unsettling sense of urgency & desperation in his voice. I stayed standing in the room the whole time we talked. i only do that when i'm nervous.. and don't feel entirely safe.. I haven't even moved down south yet. I'm worried.. that when that time comes, in about 6 weeks, that when I come by to say goodbye, he's going to hurt himself... or maybe even me... just by the way he talks now about the last and only other girl he "loved"... I'm just kind of afraid in general.. I don't know what I should do about this.. or who to talk to.. we're both 22 years old. It was easier when I was a kid.. just tell a grown-up.. now I'm supposed to be one.. and I have absolutely no idea what to do. I never meant to hurt my friend.. I never even knew he felt so strongly.. at all.. I don't want something bad to happen..

Any ideas? What should i do?

Thanks,
Jane

....the only advice I have is to keep your distance. Tell him you will drive him to the hospital if he gets help. You're not responsible for anything that happens to him. Most importanly: Do NOT put yourself in any situation that will cause harm to you. Don't be alone with him. I wouldn't go by yourself when you go to say goodbye to him. Just be very careful.