by abstractinfinity1 » Sun Jan 14, 2018 1:03 pm
Yeah, how are you doing?
What makes you think you are beyond getting help?
Trauma *can* be treated in therapy just fine. You've concretely described a lot of other issues too, but it's possible to address all of them, just it will take time and yes, a bit of effort, though you can manage that effort by taking your time more. You will want therapy that really really zones in on your problems effectively. Medications may help in the meantime.
I get it though if you feel very tired to deal with all that. That's normal, too. Just keep this in mind, that it is possible to deal with and sort it all out one day. Slowly maybe but surely.
A few bits of thoughts.
You feel you are a piece of $#%^ because that's what your feelings are telling you. That doesn't make it fact... I'm sure you are not a piece of $#%^, unless you murdered someone, which I'm pretty sure you haven't done.
Socializing is surface interactions, yes, that's normal. True closeness is only there in relationships. And yes, those take time to build but... not impossible.