Losing Temper as a Catalyst for Depressive Mood

I am wondering if others can relate. Just putting this out there on the board feels constructive already. I lost my temper with a coworker today, getting upset/reactive/defensive. I experience a lot of stress/anxiety symptoms along with it; my body and voice tremble, and I feel short of breath, dry in the mouth, and drained. I feel ashamed for getting upset and guilty for hurting someone.
I guess my goal would be to recover from these upsetting events faster, and to still be able to accept myself and not feel like a bad person. I believe there is a link between the irritability issue and my poor assertiveness skills, and that the ultimate solution for me would be to have skills to assert myself in a calm, confident, kind, and loving way. Has anyone dealt with something similar, and how do you remain loving to yourself/recovet faster? One method that is somewhat helpful for me is EFT videos, where you commit to loving and accepting yourself even though xyz, but I am curious about others' experiences. Thanks for listening.

Sure can. This is a quote from Psychology Today:
"The operational definition of depression is anger turned inward".
Doing anger right is rarely taught to us as children. It is considered a 'negative' emotion in society, but it is a necessary one.
My anger used to be 'All or nothing' anger. My body reacted as if it were in a panic attack. It got me in trouble and it gave little expected relief afterwards.
Anger blocked my better judgement and reasoning skills. Later in life, I learned to pause the flash of anger and go with plan: 'B'.
A lot of angry people are in prison or institutionalized. I want that t-shirt that says: 'I yell because I care'.
It can also be a constructive 'drive' for us, if it can be controlled. Angry people can figure out better ways of doing things and can get things done.
The whole article is here:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/he ... o-conflict
Best of luck to you.

Thanks, Wally58. Yes, "doing anger right". That's a good way of putting it. I still don't have complete clarity on what outcome I want here, but I think I'm on the right track. I would rather motivate other people with love than fear, but this article you shared, if I am understanding it right, helped me forgive myself a bit more for having the anger, and for having legitimate needs and right to assert myself. It takes a great deal of patience. I hate when I lose my cool, and it pains me to hurt other people, but I'll just try to improve best I can.
It's so obvious, but I did just identify today my main trigger--feeling that people are trying to
boss me around or not respect my ability. I think I can find ways to meet my needs without doing damage. Anyhow, thanks for your input!