How do I heal from the toxic legacy of the high school?

Even though I am 27 years old now, I am still haunted by memories of the high school. I was not bullied in high school, however, I was not respected and was not taken seriously. I was also seen pretty abnormal and unusual. Thus, especially when I feel insecure these memories pop out. I try to get over it, by living my life, going out, pursuing my passion etc. but I still cannot get rid of this feeling of insecurity, inadequacy and worthlessness.

When I got rejected by a woman those memories pop out, and when I get accepted from a woman then also those memories show up and I feel like this would show them. I sometimes feel like I still try to get accepted by the people in my high school. I really got sick of this kind of mindset, and wasting my life with meaningless struggles. I have seen a therapist few times but they were pretty useless. So what should I do to get rid of them?

Try and think of it this way. Everyone from high school is different now, some are less attractive, some are/not successful, some are over/under weight, and the most Important is your friends from high school probably don't remember half of the things that bother you. I've seen guys who were not in the dating pool marry beautiful women. Women who had a date every weekend, still single today or divorced. Popular men and women are now people who some don't give the time of day to, while those who weren't so popular are thriving with all good things in life.

You can't let what has happened in high school get you down, it was a time in your life, that is all. Dr. Phil has always said this " If you only knew how many times people thought about you , you wouldn't be so quick to wonder what they think "

High school for me was a hoot, I loved it, not because I was an Ideal student or the most popular, but bc I made a lot of fun memories, yes even the not so good memories are a hoot when I look back.

So what should you do, why don't you get in touch with a few of your high school friends and go out for a drink or something. You will soon realize all this fuss you are making about what was then, what could have been should have been doesn't matter anymore. You can't go back and change any of it so chin up and put all that negative thinking behind you.

phys9 wrote:Even though I am 27 years old now, I am still haunted by memories of the high school. I was not bullied in high school, however, I was not respected and was not taken seriously. I was also seen pretty abnormal and unusual. Thus, especially when I feel insecure these memories pop out. I try to get over it, by living my life, going out, pursuing my passion etc. but I still cannot get rid of this feeling of insecurity, inadequacy and worthlessness.

When I got rejected by a woman those memories pop out, and when I get accepted from a woman then also those memories show up and I feel like this would show them. I sometimes feel like I still try to get accepted by the people in my high school. I really got sick of this kind of mindset, and wasting my life with meaningless struggles. I have seen a therapist few times but they were pretty useless. So what should I do to get rid of them?

I had issues in high school too (not exactly the same as yours but issues very much). I had to figure out where things went wrong and how I can take things into my hand again. Then I finally felt good around people again. You do need to get to the root of the feelings of the insecurity/inadequacy/worthlessness that you have. You can do this, I hope you find a good therapist but maybe you can do it alone too. For me it was slightly different issues but a sense of what I have a right to that I didn't recognize back then is what helped. Maybe that can be translated into your situation too? You have the right to feel normal and adequate and valuable.