Our partner

Three people living in my head

Depression message board, open discussion, and online support group.

Moderator: Snaga

Three people living in my head

Postby ghost36 » Wed Oct 18, 2017 12:27 am

So I've been living with clinical depression for the past two years and ever since things got really bad about a year ago, it's like I have no control when I'm thinking and for the past few months, I've sensed two other people living in my head. They're present, they're there, and they talk to me- but through my own voice. I'll be at the bus stop and they're talking to me but like, it's me talking out loud, but it's not me. One of them tears me down and tries to get me to harm people for no reason and sometimes tries persuading me to harm myself, and the other is just trying to help me be happy again. But the mean one also harasses the one that tries to build me up. I seriously can't control either of them, because they aren't me. The first time this happened was a couple years ago, but it wasn't frequent. Now it's become more and more frequent and it's scaring me. It really is because as I'm being encouraged to hurt people, I want to hurt people. I don't know if this is a side effect of depression or what but I guess this forum was the best place to go. I posted about wanting to hurt people on this forum before under anger management, but this right now isn't necessarily about anger- it was more about the fact that my brain doesn't only belong to me anymore and I don't like it. I don't feel in control anymore. I'm talking to myself in public almost everywhere- on the bus, at school...I'm starting to get people avoiding me and parents pulling their kids closer to them and it makes me feel like some sort of monster but it's not me. It's really not. It's not me who's talking to me. It's someone else.

If anyone has any ideas of what could be wrong here then please inform me, and what I should do about this. I don't wanna hurt people. I really don't, and I just wanna feel whole again. Thanks for reading this.
I'm just trying to be happy.

"In order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion."
-Anonymous
User avatar
ghost36
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 7
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 10:51 am
Local time: Thu Jun 05, 2025 9:05 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: Three people living in my head

Postby quietgirl2538 » Wed Oct 18, 2017 2:20 pm

Not diagnosing here is very important. I do want to share that I've read that people with different "voices" or personalities are described under Dissociative Identity Disorder.

You can look at the forum and see if anything is relatable to what you experience. Again, not saying you have this, but it's something I've read a little bit on under that title and you can check it out.

dissociative-identity/
“There’s an Asian expression that ‘a burden shared is halved.’"

Bipolar
ADHD
User avatar
quietgirl2538
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 6030
Joined: Sat Feb 16, 2013 2:23 am
Local time: Thu Jun 05, 2025 9:05 pm
Blog: View Blog (146)


Return to Clinical Depression Forum




  • Related articles
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 5 guests