Working With Depression While Unemployed

Hello All,

Right now, I find myself between a rock and a hard place, and my depressive symptoms are worsening because of it. Allow me to explain…

I’m a 58-year-old professional man who, through no major personal fault, has found myself unemployed. Until June 2016, I held a grant-funded research job which ended unexpectedly when – you guessed it – the superiors who held the grant moved en masse to another institution. I had very little warning about this, and promptly enrolled in some graduate courses at a nearby university while deciding what to do next.

Back in December, I decided to re-enter the job market in my former field. But it’s been tough sledding this time around – because of a tight job market and, perhaps, because of my age. I’ve received excellent support during my new search from former mentors and colleagues, but just haven’t been able to get anything to click so far. I’m trying hard not to panic about this, as I understand that professionals who lose jobs these days may face 12-18 months of unemployment before finding their next gig.

Normally, my depression expresses itself as dysthymia – a condition for which exercise and 10 mg/day of Prozac are normally of great help. But now, I find myself in a pretty deep funk. During the work week, my “job” is to rise every day, apply for work, engage in networking, and try to stay chipper about all of this.

Isolation is also a problem for me now, as I’m living in a place that’s physically distant from my main support networks. I’ve been dating a little bit, and trying to walk a financial tightrope in the process. It’s a blessing to find women who like to spend time together… without expecting that I “break the bank” to finance our get-togethers. I know a handful of such good souls, but finding people who’ll join me in this “friendship first” approach has been a challenge.

The sum total of this… is that I’ve been getting up each morning, lately, in a physically rested but emotionally exhausted state. For the foreseeable future, my job will be to find the next job… and to deal with an inevitable patch of loneliness in the process.

My therapist and doctor agree that I should increase my dose of Prozac to 20 mg/day, and to visit with the doc in a month or so for a follow-up.

Can anyone out there speak to these circumstances… and tell me that there is hope at the end of the tunnel? I would never hurt myself. But the depth of tired and negative emotions I’m feeling during this bout of joblessness is becoming a burden. I know that I’m a worthy and deserving human being, but I keep ruminating about various decisions and “crossroads” experiences in my life that I might have handled better – obviating the need for me to be in this sort of mess right now.

Thanks in advance for any bits of kind wisdom you may be able to offer.

Take care,

Mike

Let me phrase the question more plainly:

How do you deal with deepening bouts of depression while you're unemployed?

Keep busier. If your main activity is looking for work while unemployed, keep in mind that doing that can be depressing in itself.

Don't let your isolation deepen. Depression and isolation is a very bad mix.

It's good that you're dating, I guess, and even though I don't date, I used to, and I can't imagine what it would have been like to date during a period of depression. If you're dating seriously, keep in mind that depression can distort not only your view of the world, but how you project yourself. I'm never myself when I'm depressed. Still, if you're getting something out of it (not a joke, I don't mean physically) then more power to you. Just keep in mind that there's no magic ticket assuring you employment within any period of time, so be careful not to spend all your money on women, even the cheap ones.

Prozac or other SSRI's do work wonders for some people, but don't put all your faith in them. Raising your dose will not necessarily equal raising your mood. Pay attention to any unusual thoughts you might get or worsening anhedonia. Hopefully they'll continue to work for you but as you raise your dosage, the chances of any negative side effects increases as well. Put the bulk of faith in your therapy. Keep up on it, even when you don't feel like going.

And keep your sights on whatever in your life you regard as positive.

Good luck.

Thanks so much for your kind response! It is spot-on, especially when it comes to combating isolation.
I have not been doing a very good job in this department, and will begin getting out more... to spend time with others more often.

M

Even when I absolutely want to cancel and I seem to drag my feet when it comes to getting together with someone whether it's just a visit at their home, or a lunch date. Usually (but not always), I seem to "feel" better for a short while. It's like my spirits are lifted and I feel less lonely for that time and for some time after too. It's very hard to share with others that I'm suffering from severe depression, or depression in general, but like naps shared, isolation and depression are not a good mix.

Been there, done that. That saying which means that I've been depressed and have indeed isolated myself anyway. It's something that I have found is hard to combat. I find myself wishing more and more for isolation and if I am able to change that a little bit, it usually helps me. It really does.

I hope you find work soon. Keep us updated.

Thanks for sharing a bit of your story, quietgirl. Yeah... you describe something that I've certainly felt. It always feels better to be with someone, at least for a little while. Yet picking up the phone to make it all happen can be difficult sometimes.

Just got back from a first encounter with someone I met through a reputable online service. Not a "wow" by any means... but it was nice to dress up, get out for a bit, and share a few laughs.

And yes, I'll keep you posted on the job search.

Thanks again!!!

M