People Tell Me I’m “Depressed” But I Beg To Differ.

My life isn’t exactly (or even anything close) to what I had planned and could be a lot better. I’m not exactly thrilled about that, but I wouldn’t call myself “depressed.” Others have taken my displeasure with my crappy, disappointing life to be “depression” but to me depression is something that happens to people with great lives who on the surface have no reason to be depressed. In my case, it’s more along the lines of disappointment with the fact that nothing has gone according to the plan-vision that I have in my head for how things should and potentially could be and a desire to bring about positive change.

What do you think depression? disappointment? or a combination of both?

Depression often manifests itself in the feeling of "the grass is always greener on the other side" and disappointments, perceived and real, exacerbate this. If you feel a lot of disappointment and dejection as well as a lack of energy, and it doesn't seem to end, then I would say that's a depressed mood.

I'm sorry you feel your life has been disappointing though. Remember that depression can affect anyone though. Heck, a lot of people question whether or not their depression is legitimate because they seem to have everything and life is in order... a dangerous doubt if you ask me.

Mr. Goldstein wrote:My life isn’t exactly (or even anything close) to what I had planned and could be a lot better. I’m not exactly thrilled about that, but I wouldn’t call myself “depressed.” Others have taken my displeasure with my crappy, disappointing life to be “depression” but to me depression is something that happens to people with great lives who on the surface have no reason to be depressed. In my case, it’s more along the lines of disappointment with the fact that nothing has gone according to the plan-vision that I have in my head for how things should and potentially could be and a desire to bring about positive change.

What do you think depression? disappointment? or a combination of both?

Like we always say, we can't diagnose. That said, I have had a situation in my past where I had a bad home life and it affected me as a situational type of depression, but I also had those symptoms that jag140 describes like "lack of energy, and it doesn't seem to end," then for me it was a depressive episode that perhaps needed medication. In all honesty, just keep watch of it. See if you notice any symptoms and use literature to see what depression is described as and check to see if you can relate to anything there. I can be handed a $1000 and I feel no joy or don't care because I am seriously depressed. There are different levels of depression. I was diagnosed with clinical depression, and before that with Major Depressive Disorder. Now it's bipolar, so my situation is different, but I do know what a real depressive episode feels like. I really don't know if you have depression, and it does sound like you definitely have disappointment, which to me sounds like a normal feeling when things don't go as planned within your life. If you really see yourself as having depression, please seek help from a doctor.

I have felt that way about depression sometimes. One of the things that always made me wonder is so many of the things you read or standard tests out there put so much emphasis on suicidal thoughts and self harm. I have a strong survival instinct. I fear death far more than disappointment. That was a barrier for me (and I can only tell you about my experience; not diagnose yours) to believe it was depression. "I don't want to cut or kill myself; I'm good!" was what I went with. Part of what made me try hard not to be a depressed person was the stigma, so I really didn't want to go in.

In some respects, I fit that profile of looking successful because of I make good money, have a nice house with a wife and kids. We have our problems below the surface, but that isn't the point. This is the part where I was as lucky as people think - I had a family that was worried. I actually went in to ease their minds (yeah, there was a strong undercurrent of prove them wrong). This is a very personal decision and I decided that the others who were advising me were people I wanted to assure I was okay and it was obvious they weren't just going to take my word for it.

Mr. Goldstein wrote:Others have taken my displeasure with my crappy, disappointing life to be “depression”

I don't know who these others are and I am not asking you to tell me. My others were people who were genuinely concerned. I initially said no, but still she persisted... (as did other others, but I so had to use that line ). Maybe one reason for the perception that it is depression when people have so much they should be grateful for get sad/dejected is because we are much more likely to end up doing something about it. Just sayin...

Mr. Goldstein wrote:My life isn’t exactly (or even anything close) to what I had planned and could be a lot better. I’m not exactly thrilled about that, but I wouldn’t call myself “depressed.” Others have taken my displeasure with my crappy, disappointing life to be “depression” but to me depression is something that happens to people with great lives who on the surface have no reason to be depressed. In my case, it’s more along the lines of disappointment with the fact that nothing has gone according to the plan-vision that I have in my head for how things should and potentially could be and a desire to bring about positive change.

What do you think depression? disappointment? or a combination of both?

what you are thinking of is more of what they call "atypical depression", actual depression ( major depressive disorder / major depression ) is complex and has to do with a combination of factors, past / present environment, lifestyle, coping, brain chemistry, personality and so on that eventually hit the person and cause the person to gradually or quickly decline in functioning, whether it's socially, occupationally, etc.

in other words, the person isn't necessarily good one day and then bam, they are dysfunctional, it's a process. for me, i can point out a million reason, but specifically for me, i always had a vulnerable temperament and it was hard for me to just be myself and function in life, whether it was making sense of things, being social, having friends, etc, all of this was a struggle for me for much of my development and at one point, before puberty, i was probably "ok" subjectively, however, starting from puberty, i felt a drastic change for some reason, i became extremely slow, foggy, mellow, clumsy, self conscious, etc, and had a difficult time interacting, functioning and so on, i didn't i had depression but i did feel like life itself was more difficult and exhausting or i felt drifting, eventually towards the end of high school, my functioning started diminishing to a level that was very impairing and i would get angry more easily. lashing out more or more sensitive from things in general and slowly, i started to isolate more and more due to fatigue and being overwhelmed i guess.

however, i do want to point out that my story may be resembling more of the issues that pinpoint to personality disorders as my problems are very much explained by personality disorders and i do have a diagnosis of schizotypal personality disorder alongside major depressive disorder but i do have my own theory and i personally believe that people with personality disorders pretty much automatically have depression, because if you understand depression, the very own definition is exactly what goes on in people with personality disorders, since depression isn't explaining people's personality, it's simply giving symptoms ( at least that's how it should be ). so i would disagree that people with depression think they are guilty, because certainly for me, i don't feel like that at all, i feel angry and resentful for a lot of justified reasons, and have every right to be, why would i be guilty.

however, im still concerned on the chicken and the egg thing, or what was the real problem or problems that came first, the only thing that explained me the closest from puberty up till now is sluggish cognitive tempo, before puberty, i might have had just social anxiety and possibly adhd ( which i have another theory ) and it says that my adhd became hidden from the sluggish cognitive tempo that i developed when i hit puberty and changing personality, so that perhaps i had both ( if you consider them as seperate disorders ), or maybe i just had sct all along with social anxiety and simply was more expressive in my personality when younger.