How to comfort my situation?

Hello people! I just signed up and i really wish you could help me out here.Short of longpost incoming.
I also don't really know if thats the proper section for this post, please move it if it's not.

A year ago a friend of mine and my mother died (1 week difference). My mother died because of cancer and it was really sudden because we had our hopes high and everything seemed to be going good.My friend was involved in a car accident.Now, after those 2 events, especially my mother's death, i was feeling numb for months. In october (2016) my classes began (3rd semester) and it helped me take my mind off of the negative thoughts and images i had, not much though, just a little bit. Since my mother passed, everything in our house changed. I have 2 younger sisters (i'm 23 btw) and i live with my father and grandma (mom's mother). We've been doing things slowly and most of them without any "good" mood.Not that i was expecting something different anyways, it was a hit.

Now, after almost a year, a girl approached me and i began to like her.I wasn't really bothering with girls, even though im fairly good looking and have a nice body, had plenty of girls to like me and chase me etc. Well, we started dating for 2 months and we agreed on "exclusiveness" between us two, not a standard relationship though, but sadly she betrayed me, just about the time i think i was falling for her (i "cought" her red handed).That was roughly 2 weeks ago, i sent her a long text, telling her all the things i felt and thought about us and short of busting my anger on her.She never replied to me, just saw my text and said nothing.Well, the thing is that i see her everyday at university because we take the same classes, luckily we will be done with those classes in June.I really have no problem greeting her even, i don't hold grudges on people, things like that happen everyday. But since the day we split like this my emotions have been like a freaking roller-coaster. One day i feel like im dead and i feel #######5, sometimes i am crying while showering (pardon my language) and the next day im laughing, feeling happy and not caring about much.
It's really tiresome and it's consuming me every time it happens though.

On the bright side (is it?) i still go to the classes every day, i hit the gym daily and im trying to go out with friends almost every day.BUT, the moment i return home and i sit here for like 1 hour, the bad mood and the nothingness start catching up. Thats why for the past 2 weeks ive been trying going out all day and been avoiding coming home.I can't keep going like this though, and i don't know how to deal with this situation im in right now. I'm short on money and i can't afford a shrink (or psychologist) and in my country (Greece) it's really tough to get a job for someone without certain knowledge or certification.
Also, it's been years since i was feeling legitimately happy. I can't recall the feeling of completion and happiness. If i think about the future, all i see is a black blank. I can't dream and i no longer find joy in things that i used to. The gym, for example, im doing it out of habit mostly. Or trying to pursuit the opposite gender, even for fun or just sex.I've lost that drive too.I find it difficult to set my mind on a goal and try to achieve it.I've been like that since 2 years ago and i just hadn't realized it how bad it's gotten.
Most of the times i would bottle up my feelings and not expressing myself to others, hiding my love for people that i shouldn't have (my mother for example) and i'm still doing that.The thing is, right now i feel like void inside.

Could you please help me or guide me through this? I would be really grateful

Thanks in advance and sorry for the long post, i hope i didn't bore you.

Hi Weird

I'm not sure what to tell you except that everyone's grieving process is different, and with two major losses like that so close together, I don't think it's unusual for that process to take more than one year.

I'm no professional, but it almost seems to me like you were all bottled up and it wasn't until this recent betrayal/break up that all those pent up emotions were able to come out. Maybe they need to. It happens to me a lot that I can't start to feel better until I have a good cry and just let it all out.

I do think it's good that you are staying busy with your normal routine, even if it's just out of habit. But I don't know if hiding from those feelings by constantly distracting yourself is going to help in the long run. Does your university have a free or low-cost counselor you can talk to? Maybe some local support groups? I think it would be helpful to talk to someone. Hopefully you can find an option that works with your current situation.

Big hugs

Hello, and thanks for your reply

Perhaps it's still the grieving process, i don't know..i've always been kind of bottled up about my feelings.Maybe that breakup was the cherry on the cake like you said.Sadly, my university doesn't have a counselor at the moment and i doubt it will until i'm done with the classes.
I don't know if im consciously trying to avoid those feelings that come when im staying at home or if it's a need for a new hobby/job to fill the little free time i have remaining during the day. I was thinking of some volunteer work just to meet new people and help my mind to deal with the situation.
But i do plan on talking to some professional in the near future.