Not suicidal, yet I wouldn't mind if I died?

Like if I went to sleep and didn't wake up the next morning because I died, it wouldn't bother me, yet I am not seriously trying or wanting to end my life right now. Is there actually a term for this? Just wondering. I mean yeah, it falls under the depression criteria, but is there an actual term for this way of thinking?

I believe that being suicidal is not the same thing as simply wanting to die. Of course, if you’re suicidal, you do want to die (or, more specifically, to end your pain through death) but, if you simply want to die, you may not be actively suicidal. Please understand that wanting to die and being suicidal are both serious and dangerous, but I would suggest they are not the same.

In my experience, wanting to die is passive and being suicidal is active. Thus, being suicidal is considerably more dangerous. I’m not saying that a passive desire to die can’t hurt you – certainly, it can – but I would suggest that being actively suicidal is more of an emergency situation.

Why does the difference between suicidality and wanting to die matter? Well, I think it impacts how you communicate your feelings. For example, when I simply want to die, I don’t feel that I’m in imminent danger but I know that feeling and thought pattern could be a stepping stone to full-blown suicidality so I need to deal with it and absolutely not ignore it.

If on the other hand, I’m actively suicidal, that’s the time when a suicide safety plans need to be put into place and even a trip to the hospital may need to be arranged.

While I absolutely think that both states need to be recognized and dealt with, I still think it’s important to recognize the difference between a serious problem and an emergency situation.

Regardless, if you are feeling either one of these things, you need to know that treatment helps – in fact, treatment is the only thing that does (if you ask me). That might be talking to your therapist or doctor, but definitely, talk to a professional. Hopefully, you can successfully communicate your specific state and your professional can assess your active risk for harm and get you the help that you need.

AmandaBroken wrote:I believe that being suicidal is not the same thing as simply wanting to die. Of course, if you’re suicidal, you do want to die (or, more specifically, to end your pain through death) but, if you simply want to die, you may not be actively suicidal. Please understand that wanting to die and being suicidal are both serious and dangerous, but I would suggest they are not the same.

In my experience, wanting to die is passive and being suicidal is active. Thus, being suicidal is considerably more dangerous. I’m not saying that a passive desire to die can’t hurt you – certainly, it can – but I would suggest that being actively suicidal is more of an emergency situation.

Why does the difference between suicidality and wanting to die matter? Well, I think it impacts how you communicate your feelings. For example, when I simply want to die, I don’t feel that I’m in imminent danger but I know that feeling and thought pattern could be a stepping stone to full-blown suicidality so I need to deal with it and absolutely not ignore it.

If on the other hand, I’m actively suicidal, that’s the time when a suicide safety plans need to be put into place and even a trip to the hospital may need to be arranged.

While I absolutely think that both states need to be recognized and dealt with, I still think it’s important to recognize the difference between a serious problem and an emergency situation.

Regardless, if you are feeling either one of these things, you need to know that treatment helps – in fact, treatment is the only thing that does (if you ask me). That might be talking to your therapist or doctor, but definitely, talk to a professional. Hopefully, you can successfully communicate your specific state and your professional can assess your active risk for harm and get you the help that you need.

I actually have a great therapist I'm seeing right now and I've opened up to her about it. She tells me my Gender Dysphoria is one of (but not the only) the leading factors and how I'm currently feeling the way I do because I haven't started hormone replacement therapy yet and worry about masculinizing even further as I age. I have an appointment set up to meet with an endocrinologist soon to get blood work done so I can get on HRT so I'm doing something about it, but waiting has been driving me crazy. Thank you for your thoughtful response though. I appreciate it and feel it definitely makes a lot of sense.

You're Welcome!