Can anybody tell me why was I prescribed antipsychotics?

I do have some thoughts problem, but i don't have hallucinations nor delusions.
So here are my symptoms: I can have very vivid imaginery world but it's very hostile towards me. For example I imagine that people are very mean to me, they attack me verbally and sometimes physically. If i try to ignore them they are just more aggressive. They throw insults on me and if i ignore them they start to slap me. I have thoughts about them that they are holding me on the railway waiting for the tramway. I must admit that these thoughts are very traumatizing for me as I get very emotional because of them and sometimes I had around 15 min. angry tantrums. Sometimes it is so vivid that I try to push them from me and I am punching the air. I can control myself in the public though. But I KNOW it is only in my head and not real. The thing is that it's so vivid that it is like someone put on your head oculus rift and it just give you the FEELINGS that it is real but you know it isn't.

I sometimes have feeling of being watched by someone. That feeling stems again from my imagination. I can imagine a face with a judgmental gaze and can't fully relax because of it. It comes either from nowhere or when I laugh at some inappropriate joke. I have feeling of being a sh*tty person afterwards. But I KNOW no one is near. I don't really believe that someone is watching me.

I can imagine that someone is questioning me to the point that i am starting to get annoyed and eventually get angry. This was also a reasons for my tantrums. It's like this for example: Why did you do this that way? I respond to them in my head, then they continue asking a question: Why? I respond again and the question "why" is repeated everytime I respond. I know I should not respond to them but I can't help it sometimes, because I am sucked in my head. I have alot of problems with concetration. But again I KNOW my dialogs are imaginery.

So, why my doctor has prescribed me risperidone if I don't believe that it really happened?

Here is an excerpt from Wikipedia explaining psychosis:

Psychosis is an abnormal condition of the mind that involves a "loss of contact with reality". People experiencing psychosis may exhibit personality changes and thought disorder. Depending on its severity, this may be accompanied by unusual or bizarre behavior, as well as difficulty with social interaction and impairment in carrying out daily life activities.

I guess that whether you believe in your imaginations or not, if you satisfy the above definition, you are psychotic and can be prescribed antipsychotics such as risperidone.

You should ask your doctor if they can explain the reasoning behind, this being prescribed resperidone. I would start there. Let us know what they say. I am really curious what they have to say.

I agree with quietgirl, ask your doctor. Always, always ask questions.

What you've explained does NOT sound like psychosis. What it sounds like is heavy emotional turmoil and as someone who has been offered antipsychotics myself for a multitude of mental health issues, as someone studying psychiatry, I can easily say they are heavy drugs that suppress emotions. That's their main purpose.

It's sounds like, from what you've described, you struggle heavily with feeling judged and/or rejected, and if you struggle with depression and anxiety (as I do as well), I would understand why. I would understand why this imagery you have is so aggressive and rude and why you sometimes feel like you're being watched by this judgmental face. Like you said, you're aware of all these things and can control them in public. Definitely not psychosis in the slightest.

I say this because I struggle with a similar feat. Vivid imagery, responding to thoughts in my head and getting similar thought responses of "why did you do that??" None of this is psychosis. Struggling emotionally can cause a lot of strange things in the brain. Doesn't mean you need an antipsychotic.

On the flip side, I've actually heard actual voices, actually hallucinated, and have beliefs that get categorized as delusional. I'm highly aware of the difference between the vivid imagery of which I see flash behind my eyes compared to the hallucinations of which follow me down the middle of the street outside of my head. I'm highly aware of the difference between the external voices mocking me and the thought response of "why did you do that??" and then me responding to myself in the shower or whatever.

I say once again. Ask your doctor. You deserve the reasoning behind it, because it seems pretty unnecessary. I'm not even on antipsychotics.

quietgirl2538 wrote:You should ask your doctor if they can explain the reasoning behind, this being prescribed resperidone. I would start there. Let us know what they say. I am really curious what they have to say.

Okay I will update as soon as I get to her on my next appointment.
I was thinking about it this morning, if she did not see some paranoid content in my thoughts and she did recognize early paranoid schizophrenia or something like that and that is why she prescribed me risperidone. But I may be overthinking it. Two more weeks to go,

2 weeks isn't that far away. I see my pdoc today and I have a few questions for him myself. *sigh*

quietgirl2538 wrote:2 weeks isn't that far away. I see my pdoc today and I have a few questions for him myself. *sigh*

Really? What troubles you?

I take a drug called Abilify and it has me so hungry all the time. It's hard not to eat, but it's very bad for me and my diabetes. I've been having a really hard time trying to eat right these past months. I want to take something different and stop taking that one. Plus I just want to inform him I have been experiencing a little bit of depression. Just so he can jot it down, in case it gets worse.

quietgirl2538 wrote:I take a drug called Abilify and it has me so hungry all the time. It's hard not to eat, but it's very bad for me and my diabetes. I've been having a really hard time trying to eat right these past months. I want to take something different and stop taking that one. Plus I just want to inform him I have been experiencing a little bit of depression. Just so he can jot it down, in case it gets worse.

I had also problem with overeating. I gained weight pretty quicky. Had almost 70 kg. So i knew that I had to do something because I was getting overweight. I started intermittent fasting and droped my weight to around 64kg.

CursedByApathy, I have (or at least used to have) the same sort of experiences as you with vivid imagination and paranoia etc. I dissociated a lot. I think that my dissociation has gone way down and my imagination doesn't take over me as much since I got on Geodon. It helps my insomnia because I take it at night and it makes me drowsy, and plus I think it helps with those other symptoms. I was on risperdone for a while too and my psych doc said it was because that medication has a side effect of helping anxiety for some people. Maybe that's why.