I don't recognize some of my thoughts as my own

There are thoughts in my head that I'm asociating with myself. These thoughts I consider to by mine. But in my head, there are also thoughts that are very hostile and aggressive and very critical towards me. These thoughts embody the people, who have hurt me in the past.
I have also problems to control these thoughts, for most of the time they seem to have life on their own.
These thoughts make me emotionaly uneasy. They are attacking me and i feel miserable because of it.
Many times I come into imaginery arguments withs thoughts, as if i don't realize that it isn't real, and they are just thoughts. My thoughts. Rationaly speaking, I'm aware they are my thoughts. But from emotional standpoint I view them as hostile entity. I feel like my personality has changed over the years. I feel poisoned. I feel almost no joy. I have very hostile inner world. I have these thoughts even now when i am writing this. I would like to get rid of this, but many times I don't even realize that i am again absorbed in my inner world. Sometimes i speak out loud to these thoughts. Fortunatly, this didn't happened to me in public. Sometimess it gets so frustrating and irritating, that I get myself into a rage mode. I am constantly in bad mood.
Am I going crazy? Is this a mere depression? please, sorry for my bad english.

No one here is a professional and we cannot truly answer your questions about being crazy or it being mere depression. But we can try and see if we can relate to you from our own experiences.

Do you feel so bad that it is interfering with daily life functioning? I have learned from my doctor (psychiatrist) that it is important to see them when it gets that bad. Do you have access to a doctor such as having health insurance or being able to pay out of pocket?

I had a friend who had schizophrenia, I would likely say that you are not crazy. As long as you don't hear voices from outside of your head your good... well sorta.

I quite often argue with my own anxieties. It feels like arguing with myself. I tell myself to calm down and then my inner voice replies "you can't calm down, because of..." I do quite often talk to myself in second person. So I don't think that you're crazy.

I have done that before, too. It felt like my thoughts are screaming critical remarks at me, and those remarks were ones from the people who abused me. It felt almost like they were separate entities.

I learned not to argue with my thoughts through CBT. I instead reminded myself of my good qualities. Many of them had to be suggested to me by my therapist because before I learned to do that, I often wasn't able to see my good qualities.

Hi, have you ever read anything about the super ego? From what I've read everyone has an inner guide,it's supposed to be helpful and keep us safe. "Look out for that car", "Make sure to pay that bill" etc... I believe we internalize our parents/guardians voices. Its just that for some people who perhaps have had a troublesome childhood/strict parenting/lack of parenting in their lives. The voice which we internalize can become cruel and demanding.

I definitely have a harsh inner critic before I knew what it was, I used to call it chatterbox. No matter what I thought about, it had something contrary to say. Then if I should follow it's advice (ie: don't go for a run today) it would chastise me for following it's advice (ie: You're so lazy, you should have gone for a run). Anyway, you might like to look up super-ego and see if it might be related.

Hello everyone! First of all, I want thank you for all the replies that was posted here. Second, I went to my doctor and told her about my symptoms. But her reaction was quite mysterious. First, she thanked me that I decided to told her about symptoms and then she prescribed me anti-psychotic medication and she told me that it should quite my mind and decrease the urgency of my thoughts. But she didn't state the diagnosis yet and I don't know why.

I must say that the thoughts stopped being aggressive towards me, so I noticed some improvement in only three days, but my attention span is still poor though. I will see if there will be some more improvement in the upcoming weeks, so i have to wait.

Sorry to hear about your problem, it sounds pretty rough. I would recommend counseling and seeing a psychiatrist. Medications can be a big help if they find the right one.

Medications can also be a real pain in the ass and should be used only as a last resort, because they don't really cure you, they just numb you so you don't feel the symptoms. Try CBT therapy, you can find some good resources online.

Please remember that what our doctor's advise us concerning medications or even our own mental health is where you should turn to first, because they know your history better than any of us could. Just a friendly reminder about that forum rule.