People with depression

by **Harri** » Sat May 19, 2007 10:38 am

--Seth--

NOTE: EDIT

-EDITED-
becuase i think i hurt some people with this post and im sorry.
the basics behind it were, my alter seth was unhappy because someone i knew closely, knew about my depression, but always talked to me about his depression as though i knew nothing. thats all.
sorry.

Your thoughtful questions deserve more that an off-cuff response, but all I got right now...

There are a thousands strategies of living with depression. Being a drama queen(king) about it is one.

Putting in the hard work to DO something with your life (though depressed) is another. Congratulations on choosing this "road less traveled."

May Ganesh go with your journey! (as they'd say in India)

by **Lucidor** » Sat May 19, 2007 5:02 pm

I would guess that your basic personality stays the same even if you're depressed. So if a self centered person get a depression s/he might say "Oh god, this is the worst thing that could happen to anyone" because they can't put themselves in anyone elses shoes and see that what they are experiencing is actually quite light in comparison.
On the other hand if a humble person were to experience the same thing they won't say anything because they think "There must be people suffering much worse, this is hardly worth talking about" even if they are suffering badly.

by **Harri** » Sun May 20, 2007 5:20 pm

LoveQuiet and Lucidor, thanks for your responses. They've both got some very good points in them, it helps us see more clearly.

Sorry bout Seth's outburst the other day; he can upset people sometimes when he's like that! :roll:

I think we've just got to remember that there's so many different ways of seeing a situation rather than just having a closed view. Thanks again,

~Harri

by **SmallTalkRed** » Sun May 20, 2007 5:47 pm

hi!

how do i war with depression?

i laugh every day!

You have stirred my thoughts.....

peace.
red

by **sweetsurrender121** » Mon May 21, 2007 9:26 am

Harri wrote:Heyy

I been thinking recently. I usually never come to this forum, although I'm diagnosed as depressive, because it's not something i usually try to tell people or fuss over.
I was jus thinkin recently about people that you see in everyday life, people that openly talk about depression in an emo, attention-seeking way. Doesn't it make you mad!?

I think what I hate most is that, in say a room of people, the ones that aren't depressed make a big 'fuss' over it, and the ones that ARE depressed, do not say! Damn, it's just annoying me today. Yesterday, even... cuz that was when I started thinking about it.

I had a friend , acutally an ex bf, who always claimed to be depressed and so on. He'd always tell me about his problems, and then expect me to be able to be just as open and tell him everything hidden about myself. Being depressive, I find it quite hard to tell people about it. And sometimes he'd say things about self-harming and so on, saying how bad it was and even mentioning some of it outright to some other friends, posting journals about it online... And it jsut stung a bit when he said it to me, because none of his scars were deep enough to remain, he'd never tried to k*ll himself, unlike me, but I could never bring it up in conversation, the fact that I knew what this was like, and I began doubting that he actually knew what it was like...it was jsut the attitude, the 'poor me' attitude...
I think it annoyed me mroe than anything that, despite what happened to me, I still tried to DO things about it, and get into uni, and get a job, and stuff...to cover it up and try my ahrdest to g et rid of it...but he just did nothing about his 'depression', almost as though he wanted to keep it as his 'thing' to make him different. As though he secretly liked having it. It made me think 'WHy..when I'm trying SO hard to forget about all this stuff...when I'm trying THIS hard, do some people make it feel as though my efforts are not worth it...why can some people just be allowed to sink into attention-seeking behaviour and get all this special treatment for it...and also WHY do other 'normal' people give fakers this attention???"

He'd never say it outright, but he thought his depression was worse than mine ever could be, because he came from a divorced family setup. I don't think he cared that much about mine, because I was from a seemingly 'perfect and good' family. People always assume that this family setup means I'm perfectly okay really. It just makes it even harder to tell people the truth about me.
I wish I could say to people who act like this "look, you're talking to someone who attempted suicide 3 times, etc etc" but I just can't say it!

Why does the true hurt always remain hidden, and the fakers get all the attention?

Gawwd, I didnt realise I was gonna write so much, sorry if this triggered anyone, I'm in a funny mood!

--Seth--

Wow, I can't believe you are actually putting down people who are more honest and open about their depression than you are. As if it's some sort of competition. Neither you nor your friend have killed yourselves,thankfully, so you are both in the same place.
It's not a competition, who can come closest to commiting suicide without actually following through completely!
It's hard enough getting people to open up and seek help for their depression, and then you act jealous of the attention they get?!
It's people like this that hold me back from posting anything personal.
To think that only you are 'truly' hurting and anyone who is more vocal about it is a faker that can't possibly be hurting as you are is just so selfish.
Everyone hurts and you are in no place to judge others.
I decided to give the forum another chance after seeing another dissappointing thread and came to the depression section at red's advice...and now im so dissappointed again.
If anyone knows of a safe forum for depressed people, please tell me.

by **Harri** » Mon May 21, 2007 10:29 am

Whoah!

Okay... um... I was trying to make a differenc ebetween those who geuninely feel upset (such as everyone posting on thsi forum) and those in real life who want attention WITHOUT having the depression bit.

I can unsertand why people who ARE depressed use attention as a coping mechanism, but I can't unsertand why some people who are NOT dpressed do it as well.

''to think that only youa re hurting is truly selfish''

i am NOT a selfish person! \

And it is NOT a competition!

I thought that maybe people on this thread would understand what I meant about being friends with people who think they are much worse off than you and constantly try and remind you of it, but for some reason you think I am that kind of person the instant I try to say something about it.

Sorry I upset you....
seth wanted to have a rant and I let him. I think I was wrong. I'm always doing/saying wrong things, so why should this be any different?

sorry again

by **sweetsurrender121** » Mon May 21, 2007 1:56 pm

Harri wrote:Whoah!

Okay... um... I was trying to make a differenc ebetween those who geuninely feel upset (such as everyone posting on thsi forum) and those in real life who want attention WITHOUT having the depression bit.

I can unsertand why people who ARE depressed use attention as a coping mechanism, but I can't unsertand why some people who are NOT dpressed do it as well.

''to think that only youa re hurting is truly selfish''

i am NOT a selfish person! \

And it is NOT a competition!

I thought that maybe people on this thread would understand what I meant about being friends with people who think they are much worse off than you and constantly try and remind you of it, but for some reason you think I am that kind of person the instant I try to say something about it.

Sorry I upset you....
seth wanted to have a rant and I let him. I think I was wrong. I'm always doing/saying wrong things, so why should this be any different?

sorry again

It's ok, I misunderstood your intention plus I'm kinda feeling overly sensitive at the moment. Sorry
It's just that, after seeing where a lot of people trash on a girl who posted her videos on depression, I feel like hiding more and more of my own problems.
Do some people actually think that successfully killing yourself is the only way to prove you are depressed? That's what bothers me.

by **SmallTalkRed** » Mon May 21, 2007 3:30 pm

hey gang, ***could trigger***

I am dx'd Major Depression Recurrent. If not contolled I will have psychosis episodes. Untreated, yes I have took my 357 magnum and put it to my head. I really believe that death was the only peace I would ever get.

Now I know that it is not true, my husband was home to take the gun away, and it seemed better when someone was around, if I was alone I became very unstable. Now that I understand my illness, I fight it like cancer. I have too. I thought that depression was the least of my problems, because of PTSD from years of sexual/incest rape and abuse. I have went to a Masters and Johnsons program and I see that the ptsd can be controlled much easier than my depression. I have lists of things that make me smile, I do silly things like roller skating in my kitchen, what ever makes me happy is what I do.

When I was in the pit of depression, there was NOTHING I cared about, except ending the mental torture of depression.

I have removed everything that would remind me or make me think of depressed thoughts in my home.

It can be controlled, I use medication, yoga, relaxation therapy, aromatherapy, plus I see a psych and a therapist, every month.

I had surgery, they gave me pain medicine, within two days, I was getting depressed. so no pain meds.

Now life is beautiful, I see small miracles and beauty everywhere, I know I am a great mom.

I could not see those things 3 or 4 yrs ago. Now I can, and I will beat this illness. I would never hurt myself, because to me: If I allow that to continue, the my abuser won. I am not going to let that happen. not ever again. that is what gives me the strength to fight it, to talk about it, to live it.

Life is worth living, there is beauty everywhere.
if you cant see it, just ask me, I will point it out so you can see too.

Blessing of Happiness,
red

by **Harri** » Mon May 21, 2007 9:48 pm

sweetsurrender: sorry bout the whole misunderstanding thing... I don't think people ought to have to 'prove' they're depressed... and I find it quite hard to open up to people (although thats always easier on the internet than in real life hehe!) , i don't want to hide and i dont want others to hide... gargh its a tricky subject; im really not sure what to think other thatn trying to focus on things that make me happy, coz if I do that, then nobody can feel bad from it

Red: thanks so much for sharing your story on here; you're really positive and its uplifting reading yuor posts

I think I can take good example from you... to do whatever makes me happy

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