I can't think my way out of it

My dad tried to give me very well-meaning advice, and it's not even bad advice it's very good advice. But I feel pathetic because I'm not capable of following it. I know that exercising regularly and eating right can really help with mental health and is an important part of mental hygiene. But I barely have the motivation to dress myself or shower. I really don't have the motivation to work out every day. And I have so little access to healthy food on a regular basis. I don't have the motivation to cook. I end up eating out all the time and the food nearby is all fast food and fatty. He also said that we have to choose our own think tracks and attitudes. I used to be such an optimistic person. But the years of depression has painfully killed that optimism. I am now deeply pessimistic for the future. I do not believe I will ever really improve. I do not believe I am capable of contributing anything of benefit to this world. I don't like being here. I don't have the energy to fight these thoughts anymore. They are not occasional ones I can just brush away, they are constant and all-consuming. I dread waking up every morning and having to face another day. He says he says a prayer of thanks every morning to remind himself what he has to be grateful for. When I do that it makes me feel worse because of all the wonderful things in my life and how lucky I am and I can't even enjoy it, I'm still dumbly miserable.

I'm not seeing any help until next Thursday because of thanksgiving break and I'm really suffering. I got an emergency appointment with my school and they did nothing except set up plans for me 2 weeks from now. I need help now, not two weeks from now. No one wants to help you unless you're on the verge of killing yourself, too bad they don't put a focus on preventing you from getting to that point to begin with. Oh well. I've been really struggling lately and don't know what to do.

If you'll try to do big things or many things simultaneously, you will feel overwhelmed and disheartened and demotivated. So start doing small things. Try to make a tiny improvement to your lifestyle. For example, instead of lying in bed all the time, sit up whenever you can. If you can't do workouts, just go for a short walk. Enjoy bird sounds or admire greenery or flowers around you. Anything to improve your mood slightly. This slight improvement will have an avalanche effect. You will feel like doing more. And before you realize you will start feeling alive and your interest in dressing up, cooking and showering will return and you will come out of your depression.

Exercise and eating right do help but i dont exercise each day. i do some push ups and other exercise one can do at home.

that motivates me a lot. but it doesnt last forever. i have grown some plants in the house. i am concerned about them. like i have a reason to wake up cause someone has to water the plants.

it hasnt filled me with joy or gotten rid of despair. i guess that wont go away so easily.

Please continue to write and share your stories on this message board, if you wish. It's for support of our members. Have you thought to maybe start a blog here. You can have it set where no one replies to it. That was one way that I could voice my thoughts and I could at least see that I was getting readers. I didn't seek replies because I thought I might be triggered in a negative way, as I was severely depressed. So, yes, I have found that "talking" even if it meant it was done in writing, helped me a great deal in feeling unloaded of the burden of depression, with all that it entailed.

Also, don't worry about not being able to be like others in terms of being able to easily shower and exercise. You have your whole life to do all that like others do it. Saigal and jaus tail give you great advice on doing small things at a time like going for a short walk. I too, have found that if, say, for example, my friend asks me to take care of her cats, I tend to be more motivated in doing that job. I am fast at cleaning up the kitty litter, feeding them and washing the dishes from their food bowls. She has 3 cats.

Lastly, I like to listen to really depressing music because it fits my mood and it actually doesn't depress me further, it is soothing to me. At least that was my experience. Later when you feel like listening to happier music, then just change the playlist.

quietgirl2538 wrote:Lastly, I like to listen to really depressing music because it fits my mood and it actually doesn't depress me further, it is soothing to me. At least that was my experience. Later when you feel like listening to happier music, then just change the playlist.

This works for me as well. Like i listen to depressing song or angry song and then shift to song about peace, then song about happiness, then party song.