Experiences with Therapy

This is my first time posting so I apologize in advance for my thoughts being a little disorganized.

I'm a 33 year old woman and I've been depressed since I was a teenager. Over the years I have spent many months shut up in the house with curtains drawn laying in bed ignoring phone calls and not eating.

I started therapy about 10 years ago and have had 3 long term therapists in that time. I just stopped going to my latest therapist since she was constantly forgetting things we'd already discussed multiple times and would talk about her kids and life, which I found annoying and inappropriate.

I'm currently in a state where I am functional as long as I have some outside obligation to fulfill (work, doctor's appointments) but any downtime I have is spent in bed watching tv. I've lost interest in literally everything and am totally withdrawn except from a few friends. Running errands is a huge drain and I'm even starting to lose interest in my career, which is the one thing that has kept me going for the last 7 years. I'm so apathetic that I'm almost ok with wasting my life in front of the television.

I currently see a psychiatrist and I've been on mood stabilizers (depakote then lamictal) for bipolar depression for about 7 years and have tried different additional meds (latuda, rexulti, just started wellbutrin) for depression with no luck. I take klonopin for anxiety and ambien for insomnia, but those are basically an excuse to shut down even more completely as being conscious is just too much to bare sometimes.

I guess I'm wondering what others' experiences with therapy have been like as I'm struggling with whether I should seek out a new therapist and start all over again or just give up. It just seems that I've already invested 10 years in it and it hasn't gotten me very far...The whole self care/self help part drives me insane and makes me want to quit forever. I can't stand to have someone tell me to go for a walk or take up a hobby. If I had the strength to do that would I be paying someone to tell me to do that?? Very frustrating...

Any thoughts are greatly appreciated

Hello,

big hugs if wanted.

From my understanding – as someone who was diagnosed with MDD in 2003, then rediagnosed with bipolar in 2012 – unipolar depression responds mostly to therapy with medication being used mostly to get you to a state where you can handle therapy. And bipolar responds mostly to medication, with therapy being used to help you accept what you are going through.

I agree a therapist should DEFINITELY not discuss their own life in the sessions! That's like definition of unprofessional.

I had one therapist years ago who was extremely helpful. He literally changed my life for the better. I have no idea what sort of therapy was it but he just asked me questions and I'd answer until suddenly I'd realise I just contradicted myself twice within one minute. And then I would have to rethink that before next session. Therapy in bipolar has been very helpful in certain aspects, but when I get very depressed I notice I regress back to pre-therapy period.

How about taking a break from therapists – I don't know, half a year maybe – and then evaluating? I currently receive EMDR for my PTSD and nothing else, at the beginning I found that extremely difficult because I was so used to seeing a therapist, now I am settling into the idea that I am good enough, so to say, at working out my own life except crises.

Greetings!

electriclight wrote: I can't stand to have someone tell me to go for a walk or take up a hobby. If I had the strength to do that would I be paying someone to tell me to do that?? Very frustrating...

When my therapist started doing something like this, I did as she suggested, but later I knew that I am not the type of person who wants hobbies when I am so depressed and I don't like to take walks unless it's to the mall to shop. I do love to shop when I have the money.

Yes, I can understand you. But I must say that I've had a very good experience with the therapist. I won't go to any other one in town. I hope that if you do choose to see one, that it be a good fit.